Post Reply 
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
How do you feel about this post???
UglyKidJoe Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 44
Likes Given: 8
Likes Received: 10 in 10 posts
Joined: Jan 2014
Post: #1
How do you feel about this post???
Another post on reddit that made me go hmmm...
In my experience true, I was a naughty boy who, khmm, "noticed" this more than a few times with married women.

Sorry lady members...
(This post was last modified: 01-17-2014 05:20 PM by UglyKidJoe.)
01-17-2014 05:20 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
LikeTheJar Offline
Safety
***

Posts: 110
Likes Given: 108
Likes Received: 54 in 30 posts
Joined: Oct 2013
Post: #2
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-17-2014 05:20 PM)UglyKidJoe Wrote:  Another post on reddit that made me go hmmm...
In my experience true, I was a naughty boy who, khmm, "noticed" this more than a few times with married women.

Sorry lady members...

Misogyny at it's finest.

I don't even know where to begin, but this dude has a very screwed up perspective on interpersonal relationships. If he was right (which he isn't), then I wouldn't have a girl right now who is totally 100% in love with ME and not just whatever it is that I can do for her to get her "dopamine fix" as he puts it. According to this idiot, love these days is all just some transactional game. While there is some truth to that, the idea that there is no such thing as traditional relationships, and if that's what you're looking for you are doomed is just totally false. It's this kind of perspective that further perpetuates the problem.

That said, traditional relationships are definitely more scarce in our society. That's actually why the company I work for even exists, because men want to go to foreign countries in hopes of finding women who are more traditional with more of an old world mentality.

The thing is that many men are total whimps these days. If you aren't confident, assertive, and don't take care of yourself than finding a good woman will be very difficult. They are out there though.

The biggest problem I have with this guy's mentality is that believing it perpetuates the problems that good guys are facing. There is such a thing as having your own strong personal boundaries and having someone fall totally in love with YOU for YOU. These guys who have wives who want to go screw around with other men are in a relationship with women who have no sense of value in their men, and these men have no sense of value in themselves. It's something fundamentally wrong in their actual relationship, though not in ALL relationships. If my Fiancee said she wanted to go sleep around with other guys but still wanted to be with me I'd drop her right then and there and would take my ring back, because I'm not the type to let a woman walk all over me or disrespect me. My Fiancee knows this is what I'm like, and because I have strong personal boundaries and some respect for myself, she is in love with me and doesn't take advantage.

The guy who wrote that post is a misogynistic idiot who clearly doesn't understand why some women are just bad people, or why he may be attracting only bad people. Mark on the other hand, knows what it takes to attract and only associate with good women who will be loyal because he understands psychologically what men need to do to ensure that they don't get strung along in a toxic relationship.

Dating Consultant
loveme.com
[email protected]
01-17-2014 06:18 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 4 users Like LikeTheJar's post:
bswhunter (01-21-2014), Cameron (01-17-2014), rta (01-17-2014), UglyKidJoe (01-17-2014)
GCCRacer Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 617
Likes Given: 105
Likes Received: 167 in 123 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #3
RE: How do you feel about this post???
I blame Facebook.

Seriously, the original post is over the top for sure. But one thing that seems correct from my experience is that:

Quote:The instant validation and unnecessary amounts of attention your average attractive woman get are completely out of control

I've only joined FB last year, but what I saw so far is the average woman at university can post a top-down cleavage shot or similar "beauty type" picture and easily get ~50 likes. That's because she has 300 "friends", 200 of which are guys. Semi attractive or hot girls have up to 800 friends and 100+ likes for each picture.

For comparison, a photographer (better guys than me) will post an awesome photo set they created, and get maybe 10 likes. The same girl in the pic posts a mirror self shot and gets 50. The guy who creates and shows depth to his life is worth less than the girl with decent tits, because it's a very superficial world.

If we still hold to the idea that girls are more attracted to character, and guys are more attracted to visual apperance, then it follows that a media outlet which is all about pictures and little about text is very rough terrain for a guy to present their value. Short of having action-videos of BASE jumping, concert gigs in front of 100s of people or rescusing baby whales it's a lot easier for girls to get attention on FB and similar platforms by just looking halfway decent.

This may in part explain why girls seem less happy to "settle and grow" with one specific guy. They feel they have unbelivable tons of options because they are constantly "virtually validated" - even if in reality this may not work out, it still sets an idea in their mind that they can always "trade up" to the next best guy.
(This post was last modified: 01-17-2014 09:28 PM by GCCRacer.)
01-17-2014 09:27 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 1 user Likes GCCRacer's post:
UglyKidJoe (01-17-2014)
romero.teixeira Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 37
Likes Given: 9
Likes Received: 9 in 8 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #4
RE: How do you feel about this post???
Great answer LikeTheJar. This post in reddit is just the vision of a very unhappy guy. Just read the book "The way of a superior man" It explains everything. Of course woman loves, and they do it more than man! It's exactly when the mans take the feminine role in the relationship that the woman goes look for masculine man somewhere else.

And of course also for that matter there is many researches that proves that mans cheats more than woman. Although in my point of view America is becoming a very bad place for faithful relationships, check the statistics! http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/cheatin...more-women

I truly believe in the examples we have around us, and it seems that in america everyone is cheating because everywhere that you look, everyone is cheating (of course that is the exceptions, but I hate how they are becoming so rare. Hope that this is not a world trend). For that matter I know that in Brazil girls are way harder to cheat on their boyfriends.
01-17-2014 09:31 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 1 user Likes romero.teixeira's post:
UglyKidJoe (01-17-2014)
UglyKidJoe Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 44
Likes Given: 8
Likes Received: 10 in 10 posts
Joined: Jan 2014
Post: #5
RE: How do you feel about this post???
Thanks GCC,

Interesting point!

Thanks Romero,

Most people seem to be cheating these days....
01-17-2014 10:31 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
LikeTheJar Offline
Safety
***

Posts: 110
Likes Given: 108
Likes Received: 54 in 30 posts
Joined: Oct 2013
Post: #6
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-17-2014 09:27 PM)GCCRacer Wrote:  I blame Facebook.

Seriously, the original post is over the top for sure. But one thing that seems correct from my experience is that:

Quote:The instant validation and unnecessary amounts of attention your average attractive woman get are completely out of control

I've only joined FB last year, but what I saw so far is the average woman at university can post a top-down cleavage shot or similar "beauty type" picture and easily get ~50 likes. That's because she has 300 "friends", 200 of which are guys. Semi attractive or hot girls have up to 800 friends and 100+ likes for each picture.

For comparison, a photographer (better guys than me) will post an awesome photo set they created, and get maybe 10 likes. The same girl in the pic posts a mirror self shot and gets 50. The guy who creates and shows depth to his life is worth less than the girl with decent tits, because it's a very superficial world.

If we still hold to the idea that girls are more attracted to character, and guys are more attracted to visual apperance, then it follows that a media outlet which is all about pictures and little about text is very rough terrain for a guy to present their value. Short of having action-videos of BASE jumping, concert gigs in front of 100s of people or rescusing baby whales it's a lot easier for girls to get attention on FB and similar platforms by just looking halfway decent.

This may in part explain why girls seem less happy to "settle and grow" with one specific guy. They feel they have unbelivable tons of options because they are constantly "virtually validated" - even if in reality this may not work out, it still sets an idea in their mind that they can always "trade up" to the next best guy.

GCC, you are right that girls like that exist, you are wrong that ALL girls are like this or even most girls are inclined to be like that. I know girls on my FB that post dumb glamour photos all day for the validation of it and personally I would have zero interest in pursuing girls like that if I were single. I also know stunningly gorgeous girls who barely ever post photos of themselves or when they do they aren't trying to show off their looks they are just being themselves. The mentality that Facebook is changing the perspective of women, or that anything really is changing how women or men are in my opinion is flawed. Attracting beautiful women who are very self centered and vain will likely lead to a rocky and unstable relationship, but there have been self centered and vain women out there since the beginning of time, the only difference is now you can easily look them over online. Attracting beautiful women who are just good people though, that's different and they are out there. This is at the root of Mark's philosophy of having a set of firm boundaries that you hold for yourself and actually having values. There is a difference between seeking out a girl because she's hot, and seeking out a girl because she is pretty and also a really cool person who is down to earth and minimally superficial, if at all (there's a little bit of superficial in all of us). Know what I mean?

Dating Consultant
loveme.com
[email protected]
01-17-2014 10:44 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
UglyKidJoe Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 44
Likes Given: 8
Likes Received: 10 in 10 posts
Joined: Jan 2014
Post: #7
RE: How do you feel about this post???

Yes, Mr. Horse, also a good point! Do we, indeed, deserve to be loved for "who" or "as we are"?...
01-17-2014 10:48 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
LikeTheJar Offline
Safety
***

Posts: 110
Likes Given: 108
Likes Received: 54 in 30 posts
Joined: Oct 2013
Post: #8
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-17-2014 10:27 PM)a man called horse Wrote:  Here's a thought. What about her? Fromm writes that a prequisite to loving somebody else is overcoming an infantile, self-centered view of the world. You never read, "Well, what could I do for somebody else? What have I got to contribute toward her happiness?" Instead, women get conceptualized as needing to be tricked, to be handled a certain way or something.

Nah, though. You probably just need to grow the fuck up and realize how your thoughts and actions affect other people.

Now I'm going to say something that half of you heathens won't understand or will find controversial. If you're pursuing a relationship with a woman, and sex isn't at the forefront of your mind, you are with Mr. redpill in the matrix and we expect your manifesto shortly.

Another gem indeed. Absolutely right.

Dating Consultant
loveme.com
[email protected]
01-17-2014 10:51 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
TheloniousKwiggz Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 82
Likes Given: 70
Likes Received: 107 in 50 posts
Joined: Sep 2013
Post: #9
RE: How do you feel about this post???
Your relationships only have the capacity to be as good as your character.
Most relationships are shit now because most people have shitty values.
01-17-2014 11:09 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 1 user Likes TheloniousKwiggz's post:
UglyKidJoe (01-17-2014)
Randori Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 54
Likes Given: 0
Likes Received: 22 in 16 posts
Joined: Feb 2013
Post: #10
RE: How do you feel about this post???
I remember reading some of the precursor articles (On heartiste and the like) to that during my worst bouts of depression and addiction to the ol' red pill. And even then I had to call it a crock of shit. Part of me wanted to believe it, but I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to believe, even in the absolute depths of depression (and vague bitterness towards women and especially myself [I'm super grateful I atleast was taught early on to not blame others if they are attracted to you or not]) I knew that was just the writing of a tortured, bitter man.

The question I keep asking myself, not only in regards to men like the writer of the article, but also to some friends of mine who are caught in the denial mechanisms and the like: is there any way to goose someone out of that mindset when they are already caught in it that badly? For me, it was hitting rock bottom and realizing that I was having moments of *unbelievably inhuman* anguish over my success (or lack thereof) with women. And a fateful encounter with a bottle of booze and a book on Zen Philosophy. That, along with Mark and T's writings helped me pull myself up and out of that abyss.

Is there any other way then having someone hit rock bottom or do you just have to hope your writing style
"clicks" for that person?
01-18-2014 05:33 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 1 user Likes Randori's post:
Cameron (01-18-2014)
GCCRacer Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 617
Likes Given: 105
Likes Received: 167 in 123 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #11
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-17-2014 10:44 PM)LikeTheJar Wrote:  There is a difference between seeking out a girl because she's hot, and seeking out a girl because she is pretty and also a really cool person who is down to earth and minimally superficial, if at all (there's a little bit of superficial in all of us). Know what I mean?

Yes I know that difference, but it doesn't contradict what I wrote earlier.

Sorry if I go off the long path here... brain dump:

1) Science seems to pretty much agree that the constant information overload we are suffering today means that we are ever more putting style over substance. In politics, media, advertising... no matter where, the time we have to filter trough a massive amount of content gets ever smaller, so if something doesn't immediatly catch our eye it gets discarded. That's why today it's often more important how something is packaged than what it contains. This leads to an ever increasing "superficialization" of our society.

2) We are living in a time of ever increasing self-publishing (FB, Blogs, Youtube, Audio Websites) and self-promotion. Everyone's supposed to put "his best stuff" out there. But it takes time to write (and to appreciate) a good deep blog post, a complicated audio piece created on the synthesizer or in the garage with the band... or an artistic picture set/video. It takes very little time to create and to "let impact on the viewer" a pic with a set of nice tits. In a superficial world, the easiest-digested impressions win (FB Memes are the perfect example of that). Guys traditionally present values that are complex (i.e. good character, caring person, strong sense of boundaries, dominant...) all these are NOT classic messages that you can send in seconds with a single picture. Tits ass and legs work in seconds however.

3) Being a photographer for over ten years now, it's pretty clear now that today everyone who can afford a decent camera is a "photographer". This has led to every girl on FB being "a model". The absurd situation is that even average girls with no professional model experience are charging guys today for their time (in the olden days, it was time for pictures - if the shot was non-commercial then no payment would change hands either way). Why can girls do this? Because it's never been easier for them to self-advertise even medicroe looks as something desireable.

4) Look at the Hipster cult and generally left-wing/vegan whatever trends... often is is just as important to be SEEN being something as actually BEING something. Again, all visual.

5) FB and similar media penetrate 80, 90% of the general population, and are first and foremost visual media. Guy values, complex as they are, don't readily transport themself trough mainly visual media. Tits and ass do.

********************

Sorry, I don't question that there are pretty, intelligent, classy women out there who aren't posing on facebook all the time - likely to a good part the same women who aren't going to the clubs. My perspective can only relate to what I can see. And what I see is that superficialization of society now has girls (sorry, hate the rating scale but here it's necessary) that I would have called a 6 or 7 now behaving like a 9. I got bitch-shielded recently by more than one girl actually being 10, 15kg overweight. I wasn't hitting on them at all, but they thought I was. That is the reality in the dating war zone as far as around here - the sense of self even of average girls is trough the roof these days, and I can trace the reasons for that pretty clearly to the influx of social media and the way Style over Substance is trending these days.

I'm sure there are other worlds out there... away from "scenes", away from groups with very defined "poser values", away from clubs. But it's not mainstream where you are talking about these girls I quoted you on.
01-18-2014 05:44 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Cameron Offline
Self-Actualization
*****

Posts: 2,082
Likes Given: 731
Likes Received: 375 in 292 posts
Joined: Sep 2012
Post: #12
RE: How do you feel about this post???
I might be going after you here GCCRacer but it's because you seem like such a cool guy apart from you have a victim mentality that needs to be addressed. So its not that I dislike you personally or am trying to belittle you.

"I've only joined FB last year, but what I saw so far is the average woman at university can post a top-down cleavage shot or similar "beauty type" picture and easily get ~50 likes. That's because she has 300 "friends", 200 of which are guys. Semi attractive or hot girls have up to 800 friends and 100+ likes for each picture."

Why do you care so much? Are you just sitting at home jealously focusing on the validation others get? Maybe you could find something more productive to focus on?

"For comparison, a photographer (better guys than me) will post an awesome photo set they created, and get maybe 10 likes. The same girl in the pic posts a mirror self shot and gets 50. The guy who creates and shows depth to his life is worth less than the girl with decent tits, because it's a very superficial world."

So whats the purpose of creating art? To make something you like, thats awesome, thats unique or that gets fucking likes on FB? Seriously? Also, he may find his FB friends less likely to "like" his posts than the hot girl, but that hardly makes him less valueable as a human being even if he is less popular.

"If we still hold to the idea that girls are more attracted to character, and guys are more attracted to visual apperance, then it follows that a media outlet which is all about pictures and little about text is very rough terrain for a guy to present their value. Short of having action-videos of BASE jumping, concert gigs in front of 100s of people or rescusing baby whales it's a lot easier for girls to get attention on FB and similar platforms by just looking halfway decent."

Who uses FB as a dating site anyway?

"This may in part explain why girls seem less happy to "settle and grow" with one specific guy. They feel they have unbelivable tons of options because they are constantly "virtually validated" - even if in reality this may not work out, it still sets an idea in their mind that they can always "trade up" to the next best guy."

Or their just young and want to have some fun before they get married.

Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
(This post was last modified: 01-18-2014 02:06 PM by Cameron.)
01-18-2014 11:46 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 1 user Likes Cameron's post:
LikeTheJar (01-20-2014)
Alvar Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 785
Likes Given: 208
Likes Received: 156 in 122 posts
Joined: Oct 2011
Post: #13
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-17-2014 10:31 PM)UglyKidJoe Wrote:  Most people seem to be cheating these days....

No, they don't. Where I live is about 30-35%, lookup the stats for your country if you care, and that's not the fear-mongering websites from PI's and lawyers with a keen interest. If anything cheating is going down, as people realize that they do not have to be bound to an unsatisfactory relationship for the rest of their days.

Also, close to half of the people in relationships say they have a happy or satisfactory relationship.
Shocking, I know.
01-18-2014 12:32 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
GCCRacer Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 617
Likes Given: 105
Likes Received: 167 in 123 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #14
RE: How do you feel about this post???
Cameron, you're barking up the wrong tree here, especially because you personally addressed me but not the point of the original post.

Quote:Why do you care so much? Are you just sitting at home jealously focusing on the validation others get? Maybe you could find something more productive to focus on?

Cheap shot, and you know it. I'm not gonna qualify my life to you listing all the things I did recently that weren't facebook. Anyway, I care about this because it influences my dating/seduction results. Especially in a smaller communitys (of which I have two - Goths and BDSM) when at events you have a core group of maybe 50 or 100 people always the same, it acts like a college group. I.e. there are hierachies forming, there are cool guys, cool girls, runner-ups, wannabes, undesirables. As these people are pretty strongly connected on facebook with mostly all others - no joke, that's how the scene here works - then Facebook becomes a social status tool. And it's working strongly in favor of the girls, so you end up going out meeting average girls that think of themself as very special princesses because they have daily tons of FB validation by not just, but also the guys they are going to meet when going out in the evening. It seriously tilts the balance of power towards girlish values (i.e. Style over Substance) because that's what they can sell all week on FB to the same crowd they meet when going out in the weekend.

Quote:Also, he may find his FB friends less likely to "like" his posts than the hot girl, but that hardly makes him less valueable as a human being even if he is less popular.
In the context of defined small groups as above, less popular means less attractive to the opposite gender - totally unimportant huh?. There is for the last few months a noticeable influx of GUYS doing model shoots on FB. Why? Because it's the only thing that gives them status and likes within their group, short of becoming a major DJ. Guys are desperatly trying to play girls game (i.e. looks-based, Style over Substance) to get noticed within their FB-Sphere (which happens to match 50% or more their real-life personal groups).

Quote:Who uses FB as a dating site anyway?
Asking that question pretty much shows you missed the entire point of my above postings. Of course FB is no dating site - though I've seen people use it successfully like one - but the simple fact is that FB is communication, and communication influences the way people behave and look at themself in "real life". Are you seriously telling me that average/medicroe looking girls, formerly relegated to "second pick", are NOT changing their behaviour towards random men if they get 50 likes a day just for posting a well-executed fat-girl shot? Or that already decently hot girls are NOT trough the roof with their special flower attitude for having to fend "friends" of with a stick?

************************

Of course Mark's approach and values work here anyway, because going for the character traits of a girl negates all that superficial validation she recieves online. I'm not screaming from a soap box that the end is near. But the fact is that within defined communities - and even without - social media massivley changes the way girls view themself, in a way that guys can not match because superficial media gives us not the tools.
(This post was last modified: 01-18-2014 02:26 PM by GCCRacer.)
01-18-2014 02:22 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
rad skeleton Offline
Safety
***

Posts: 499
Likes Given: 55
Likes Received: 158 in 120 posts
Joined: Sep 2012
Post: #15
RE: How do you feel about this post???
Quote:Are you seriously telling me that average/medicroe looking girls, formerly relegated to "second pick", are NOT changing their behaviour towards random men if they get 50 likes a day just for posting a well-executed fat-girl shot? Or that already decently hot girls are NOT trough the roof with their special flower attitude for having to fend "friends" of with a stick?

If you were second pick you'd stay second pick as long as "first pick" was still hotter than you, all the Facebook likes in the world couldn't change that.

Are you really gonna complain about a goth scene becoming "style over substance"? Cliques ARE style over substance, and will be till the end of time.
01-18-2014 04:03 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 1 user Likes rad skeleton's post:
LikeTheJar (01-20-2014)
GCCRacer Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 617
Likes Given: 105
Likes Received: 167 in 123 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #16
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-18-2014 04:03 PM)rad skeleton Wrote:  If you were second pick you'd stay second pick as long as "first pick" was still hotter than you, all the Facebook likes in the world couldn't change that.
Are you really gonna complain about a goth scene becoming "style over substance"? Cliques ARE style over substance, and will be till the end of time.

The "second pick" is still now behaving like "first pick". Even if there are hotter girls out, with even more facebook likes... it just raises the baseline across the board. Again, you end up with very, very average girls assuming that every guy talking to them is "gaming them" because they are "so hot in their own mind".

As for cliques being Style over Substance... your personal opinion. It didn't use to be this way ten years ago in some scenes.

Look, I don't need to defend these observations. They are a given in my environment, and likely very many other environments across different western cultures. FB changes the way people view themself, and the social dynamics are not in favor of guys. I posted this as it relates to the OP - like it or leave it.
01-18-2014 04:34 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Dalaran1991 Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 94
Likes Given: 10
Likes Received: 9 in 9 posts
Joined: Apr 2013
Post: #17
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-18-2014 04:34 PM)GCCRacer Wrote:  
(01-18-2014 04:03 PM)rad skeleton Wrote:  If you were second pick you'd stay second pick as long as "first pick" was still hotter than you, all the Facebook likes in the world couldn't change that.
Are you really gonna complain about a goth scene becoming "style over substance"? Cliques ARE style over substance, and will be till the end of time.

The "second pick" is still now behaving like "first pick". Even if there are hotter girls out, with even more facebook likes... it just raises the baseline across the board. Again, you end up with very, very average girls assuming that every guy talking to them is "gaming them" because they are "so hot in their own mind".

As for cliques being Style over Substance... your personal opinion. It didn't use to be this way ten years ago in some scenes.

Look, I don't need to defend these observations. They are a given in my environment, and likely very many other environments across different western cultures. FB changes the way people view themself, and the social dynamics are not in favor of guys. I posted this as it relates to the OP - like it or leave it.

I second Racer here. Due to the stream of online validation girls get these days through online dating FB and shit, you start to see more and more mediocre or even ugly girls behaving like they are Victoria Secret models. The argument that "if there's a hot girl around, ugly girl will be put in their place" like an alpha guy dominating beta guys just doesn't work with girls. Even if the mediocre girls are in the presence of hot girls, they can still sooth their ego by just pulling out their phone and check how many likes they got on instagram or how many people flash them on okcupid. And that's worsening their attitude.

I see this clear as day the other night hanging out with friends. There were 4 girls in the groups and 3 of them are 7.5-9 on a 10 scale. The other is a fat and short girl, she was on her phone the whole time and when my buddies tried to talk to her she was acting like "you're not worth my time".

What I'm saying is that, had it not been for this virtual validation thing girl's attitude (whether she's hot or not) would be much better. But to be fair we as guys have our own advantages in the digital age too. You can easily find out all the crucial information on a girl before getting to know her and use it to your advantage, as long as you dont come off as a stalker. So adapt and conquer I would say.
01-18-2014 07:51 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Cameron Offline
Self-Actualization
*****

Posts: 2,082
Likes Given: 731
Likes Received: 375 in 292 posts
Joined: Sep 2012
Post: #18
RE: How do you feel about this post???
"Cheap shot, and you know it. I'm not gonna qualify my life to you listing all the things I did recently that weren't facebook."

I didn't mean to imply that you have nothing going on in your life. I know you have a lot of hobbies and thats great. I'm sorry if it came across like that. I mean to say, however busy your life is, time spent looking at someone else's FB photos is wasted time generally, and it's not useful either to feel bitter or angry about it.

"Anyway, I care about this because it influences my dating/seduction results. Especially in a smaller communitys (of which I have two - Goths and BDSM) when at events you have a core group of maybe 50 or 100 people always the same, it acts like a college group. I.e. there are hierachies forming, there are cool guys, cool girls, runner-ups, wannabes, undesirables. "

Maybe you should choose a group, you might get better results that way, I know you don't want to because everyone bores you but in the long run you might be happier if you commit to one (or both) groups. Or even if your not happier you might find it easier to get in a satisfying relationship that way, as your finding "lone wolf" is a difficult card to play.

"As these people are pretty strongly connected on facebook with mostly all others - no joke, that's how the scene here works - then Facebook becomes a social status tool. And it's working strongly in favor of the girls, so you end up going out meeting average girls that think of themself as very special princesses because they have daily tons of FB validation by not just, but also the guys they are going to meet when going out in the evening."

I'm wondering if a dating medium can truly favour one sex but I anyway. Right, so you meet a girl and you think she's mediocre but she also thinks she's too good for you because of the obscene amounts of validation she gets from douchey guys. But you just said you think she's average.....so who gives a fuck if she likes you or not? You don't like her anyway (in that way). I think the real problem is that you don't have much social status within the clique generally, rather than FB screwing you over.

Is it possible your (in mindest) like the passive-aggressive nice guy who's sad and bitter because no one sees how "deep" and "special" he is? Because it's society's fault right for not recognizing what a special little snowflake you are and everyone else is so wrong and horrible and shallow and why amn't I getting the attention and validation I am entitled to despite being an outsider and having my weird little hobbies and poor little me why isn't the world adjusting itself to make me happy? Give me a fucking break.






It seriously tilts the balance of power towards girlish values (i.e. Style over Substance) because that's what they can sell all week on FB to the same crowd they meet when going out in the weekend.

You seem pretty stuck right now and I think your

Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
01-18-2014 08:11 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
rad skeleton Offline
Safety
***

Posts: 499
Likes Given: 55
Likes Received: 158 in 120 posts
Joined: Sep 2012
Post: #19
RE: How do you feel about this post???
The question is though why you would concern yourself with the lives of people you find neither attractive nor pleasant?

It seems a really pointless thing to worry about, "DAE ugly girls don't know their proper place in the hierarchy these days?"
(This post was last modified: 01-18-2014 08:15 PM by rad skeleton.)
01-18-2014 08:12 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 1 user Likes rad skeleton's post:
Pearlesque (01-18-2014)
GCCRacer Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 617
Likes Given: 105
Likes Received: 167 in 123 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #20
RE: How do you feel about this post???
Because it means average looking girls that might have been interesting to talk with, maybe to take home for fun, are now producing "bitch-shields".

Because it means decent looking girls, not really hot ones, are behaving like models.

The only place where it doesn't change much in the girl's behaviour is with the top level, but I don't always had to have top level in the past.

Cameron, you lost me at "weird little hobbies". If you can't post without it coming across as a personal attack, then don't expect a reply.
01-18-2014 09:50 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
UglyKidJoe Offline
Physiological
**

Posts: 44
Likes Given: 8
Likes Received: 10 in 10 posts
Joined: Jan 2014
Post: #21
RE: How do you feel about this post???
@GCC,

Chill man, Cameron is older than he wishes to admit here. Big Grin That's why he is unaware and unwilling to accept that social networks can have any influence. Big Grin

However, and this is OT, I likewise don't understand your persistence with goths and this other group. What gives? Why you not get a normal girl that's neither goths nor those others? Among few hundred people you ask where are the hot ones?
01-20-2014 05:10 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
GCCRacer Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 617
Likes Given: 105
Likes Received: 167 in 123 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #22
RE: How do you feel about this post???
I sent you a PM, not wishing to derail this any further Wink
01-20-2014 11:22 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
FirstAidKit Offline
Safety
***

Posts: 449
Likes Given: 121
Likes Received: 318 in 172 posts
Joined: Dec 2011
Post: #23
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-18-2014 09:50 PM)GCCRacer Wrote:  Because it means average looking girls that might have been interesting to talk with, maybe to take home for fun, are now producing "bitch-shields".

Because it means decent looking girls, not really hot ones, are behaving like models.

The only place where it doesn't change much in the girl's behaviour is with the top level, but I don't always had to have top level in the past.

As a girl, and one who wasn't always as attractive as I am now, it is really fucking obvious when someone is trying to get into your pants as an easy target because he considers himself out of your league. I vote for staying with my friends rather than going home with a guy who deigns to grace me with his penile attention like he's doing me a big favour.

Also, at any level of attractiveness I've been, I've found guys who think I'm a great, sexy person they want to be around (though there are more of them now). Surprisingly enough, feeling good about myself and our interaction has more weight than the guy's alpha/beta credentials. Why would I sleep with someone who obviously doesn't think I'm that worthy of the attention?

Quote:I got bitch-shielded recently by more than one girl actually being 10, 15kg overweight. I wasn't hitting on them at all, but they thought I was.

HOW DARE THEY expect nice things when they're FAT. It's an OUTRAGE I tell you. You know, fat/ugly people get to have personal boundaries too, and they get to screen people out who aren't 'Fuck Yes!' - they'll be screening more people, sure, but they are probably okay with that.
(This post was last modified: 01-20-2014 12:22 PM by FirstAidKit.)
01-20-2014 12:21 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 2 users Like FirstAidKit's post:
bswhunter (01-21-2014), LikeTheJar (01-20-2014)
SeXyBaCk Offline
Self-Actualization
*****

Posts: 2,347
Likes Given: 34
Likes Received: 836 in 578 posts
Joined: Jan 2012
Post: #24
RE: How do you feel about this post???
What's happened to this forum lately?

Some misogynist debate over some sad guy rambling on about alpha and beta?

At least 80% of guys get have decent stable relationships and get laid. They're not bending over backwards or getting UTIs standing in the rain trying to pick up girls.

If you're not getting any, that's on you. If you get rejected constantly that's on you too. If you keep getting into relationships and get dumped after 2 months you're probably boring. Blaming facebook and the entire opposite gender is such a fucking weak attitude and just distracting from what's actually going awry.

edit: you know those 10k lonely guys posting on those reddit boards are the same 10k guys who are wasting away their lives on roosh and that other website.
(This post was last modified: 01-20-2014 01:03 PM by SeXyBaCk.)
01-20-2014 01:01 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
The following 2 users Like SeXyBaCk's post:
Cameron (01-20-2014), LikeTheJar (01-20-2014)
GCCRacer Offline
Love/Belonging
****

Posts: 617
Likes Given: 105
Likes Received: 167 in 123 posts
Joined: Dec 2013
Post: #25
RE: How do you feel about this post???
(01-20-2014 12:21 PM)FirstAidKit Wrote:  HOW DARE THEY expect nice things when they're FAT. It's an OUTRAGE I tell you.

Wrong tree... you're sharing that one with Cameron? Where did I say not-pretty girls don't deserve something nice?

But I take issue when I get in a casual conversation with a girl I have zero romantic interest in, and they start giving me lip three sentences down the road trying to "cut me to size" for hitting on them. That's what happened. Totally exagerated sense of self-worth.

I take issue with girls that are on equal level, totally "same league" looks-wise and half as interesting lifestyle acting like models just off the catwalk. That's what happened too. Again totally exagerated sense of self-worth.

Where's the exagerated sense of self-worth coming from? Cheap, round-the-clock online validation. Point. Post a top-down cleveage mirror self-shot and get 50 likes - Validation Robot by Mark Zuckerberg.

And I'm not saying it's any end-of-dating as we know it. But if this is a forum dedicated to dating dynamics, then the influx of online validation that clearly changes how people behave in daily life is worth discussing. I don't see how this makes me "weak" when I acknowledge dynamics acting in the real world where I move around daily.
(This post was last modified: 01-20-2014 01:48 PM by GCCRacer.)
01-20-2014 01:34 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  I need some advice~~~ (post from a girl) ageofconsent 22 1,784 05-02-2014 10:16 AM
Last Post: TheGreatTurk
  How does "normal" male sexuality feel like? Primergy 24 2,933 02-13-2014 09:22 AM
Last Post: GCCRacer
Heart True? Post from a Girl - if he's not calling you, he's not into you... Pinkrabbit 12 1,853 11-07-2013 03:55 PM
Last Post: Salaam
  Quora Post; "Why is "neediness" such a repulsive characteristic?" Valentino 3 1,222 10-18-2013 06:43 PM
Last Post: Alvar
  Post from a girl - do guys care about job/money/employment of a potential spouse? wsnyder2424 65 6,271 10-14-2013 11:35 PM
Last Post: YMZ
  A highly vulnerable, highly mushy post. You've been warned QuarterLifeCrisis 2 712 07-29-2013 09:37 AM
Last Post: Cameron
  Return from hiatus (long post) 25or6to4 4 554 03-14-2013 10:06 PM
Last Post: 25or6to4
  I feel like I don't have anything to offer sexually Kung 5 666 03-10-2013 11:25 PM
Last Post: Oli
  What happened to my 'Best Post of 2012' post? Progress 5 573 01-06-2013 09:25 PM
Last Post: Mark
  Do you feel like somehow she needs to win you over too? Leo 5 903 09-26-2012 07:46 AM
Last Post: SeXyBaCk

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)