Some really basic dating advice today. Here’s a new rule:
If you’re a guy, and you can’t get girls, you’re not allowed to complain about your looks unless you’ve been a member of a gym for at least six months.
I’m still amazed at how many guys who come to me for help and guidance while looking like they’ve been sitting on a couch for four years. Seriously, join a damn gym. That’s step number one. If you don’t have time, find time. If you don’t have the money, find a cheap gym. If you don’t know how to exercise properly, google around and find good workout programs and youtube videos showing you each exercise.
It’s sad to say this, but if there’s any “magic pill” with this stuff, it’s spending six months inside a gym and eating well. I always “worked out,” but I realized a few years ago, it was more like half-assing it to counter-balance all of the alcohol and burritos I was consuming. When I began taking training seriously, I slimmed down (lost 30 pounds), then bulked up (added about 5-6 pounds of muscle), and now I get looks from a lot of girls and even get approached every now and then.
Being fit and good-looking will make every step of the process go easier. Being good-looking isn’t a cure-all for attraction, but it absolutely makes every segment of game go easier and smoother. Women will be more receptive when you approach. They’ll have more patience for boring conversation. They’ll be less likely to flake. They’ll be more likely to get physical with you and they’ll even enjoy the sex more.
Study’s have demonstrated that better-looking people get paid more, promoted sooner, are trusted more often, and command more attention.
For you to read about this stuff and not make yourself as good-looking as you possibly can is dishonest and deluding yourself. Seriously, if you’re stuck and have no idea what to do, you’re scared to death of leaving the house and approaching, girls never pay attention to you or take you seriously, here’s step number one: shut up and join a gym. Seriously. It’s not a fix-all for your problems, but it will do the following:
Get you out of your comfort zone – Joining a gym is an intimidating experience for a guy who’s spent his whole life in front of computers and TV screens. You have the perception that its going to be full of meatheads who are going to laugh at you as they toss 80 pound weights around between themselves, supermodels on treadmills who will be disgusted by your presence, and gym staff who will kindly ask you to leave when they see how big of a loser you are.
Not the case. In fact, most people in the gym are fat and out of shape as well. Most of the women are old and/or not hot. The gym is for normal people. It’s for normal people who give a shit and want to improve themselves, get healthier and look better. You’re one of those people. And that’s why you’re going.
Makes you healthier – The health benefits of weightlifting are too massive to list here. But everything from cardiovascular health to energy levels will improve. The important part of being healthier is that you FEEL better. When you feel better, you feel more energized and ready to take on other challenges: at work, at home, or out on a date. Working out increases testosterone production which also increases sex drive, increases feelings of ambition, and also makes you behave more dominantly and aggressively.
Build confidence – There’s no better feeling that waking up one day, looking in the mirror and thinking, “Wow, I’ve never looked like this before.” Noticing that there’s a line of muscle where there wasn’t before, noticing that your arms are a little wider, that you look a little more fit. It’s a huge confidence boost. And you start to get it on an almost daily-basis. This transfers over to going out and interacting with others. It helps your self-image and you’ll begin to behave more attractively in front of others.
Increase your looks – Being in shape is the baseline of being physically attractive. You don’t need to be ripped with a six-pack, or have gigantic biceps, but you can’t be out of shape. You can’t be a fat slob, or being scrawny and hunched over all the time. The gym fixes that. And it can fix that surprisingly fast if you take it seriously and work out correctly. Within six months, you can make yourself look significantly better and begin getting better reactions from women. Why you wouldn’t do this is beyond me. It’s a free bonus. It cuts down the effort required with women quite a bit.
Once again, looks are not everything. I’ve worked with quite a few very good-looking guys who weren’t successful. But they grease the process — they make everything a little bit easier, make everything go a little bit more smoothly. So you have no excuse to not be capitalizing on it. No one is born unattractive permanently. We can all make ourselves look better, particularly through exercise and our fashion/style. So there’s no excuse to not invest in it.
I’ve been amazed at the number of guys I’ve worked with in person who COULD be good-looking if they invested the amount of time and effort required to get there. The first step is to join a gym. So shut up and do it.
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