You’re Hiding the Best Part of Yourself

1 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Three things for you to think about

The version of yourself you perform for other people is always less interesting than the one you’re hiding. It just never feels that way from the inside.

The parts of yourself you think are “too much” for people are usually the parts they’d actually connect with. And the parts you think they’d like to see are the parts they’ve seen a thousand times already.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is a great accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Three things for you to ask yourself

What would people see if you stopped performing?

What about you do you think is “too much”? And why?

One thing for you to try this week

Let someone see the part of yourself you usually hide. Reply and tell me what happens.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to sit with an uncomfortable question and see what comes up.

Here’s Emma:

My life is at a crossroads, career, re-location plans.

I have spent my entire life doing what makes everyone else happy at the detriment to myself and what makes me happy.

So in answer to your question, when did I last sit with a question. For the first time ever it’s right now. I’ve taken a step back to consider what is best for me. Hit the pause button.

Rushing to answer questions has always been from a place of solving problems… for other people. I was afraid people would think me selfish if I didn’t do everything in my power to solve their problems. I am now unlearning those habits and realizing, when you solve everyone else’s problems they’ll never learn to solve their own.

Thank you for welcoming me to your community, it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Our next reader found a new answer to an old question:

The question I’ve always thought had no other answer is this: Are people who do bad things inherently awful people?

I always thought the answer was yes. But I recently learned that my grandfather isn’t my grandfather and that forced me to look at my grandmother’s situation through an empathetic lens. She was forced to get married, discovered that her new husband was in love with his first wife, and was made to feel lesser.

It prompted her to seek validation and support elsewhere to level the emotional playing field. Now whilst I would never encourage anyone to deal with such an issue in this manner, it did remind me that life is many shades of gray and never black and white. We can learn from people’s mistakes without vilifying them.

To end, perhaps the most important question of all:

The question that has been driving me since I was nine years old: Is there awareness/consciousness/existence after physical death? And I am terrified that the answer is ‘nothing,’ and I hope I am wrong.

A more immediate question is, what do I want to do with my life now that I have accomplished the big things? I’ve been struggling with this, seeking rather unhealthy escapes to cope with this gaping chasm towards the first question. But as I was writing this, I realized that this is the wrong question, because it is unanswerable.

The better question is: What’s worth doing right now? This is a question about action and values, a concrete measuring stick.

And I was afraid that the answer could be ‘nothing.’ But once I reframed the question, it splintered the big unknown into tiny possible actions.

When I am hungry, it’s worth eating. When I am tired, it’s worth sleeping. If I want to be a known author, it’s worth taking a baby step towards becoming known.

I actually spend too much time pondering these questions, and I have learned so much. But now I must actually act instead of thinking.

Thinking suggests solutions, but acting solves problems.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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