You Are Not Your Labels

I haven’t written a book in five years. I’m happier than a pig in sh*t.

After The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck sold 20 million+ copies, publishers started showing up with millions of dollars. They wanted me to write more books, do more book tours, do the whole bestselling author thing.

So I did. I took the deals and did the “author thing.” I lived an author’s life.

Pretty soon, it felt like walking around in “serious author” cosplay—corduroy, glasses I didn’t need, and the sort of smugness you usually only get from driving a Prius.

At first, it was just uncomfortable. By 2022, I was burnt out.

So I took a sabbatical and asked myself a simple question:
“This is all I’ve ever wanted… So why does this feel so bad?”

The answer surprised me:
Deep down, I’m not an author. I’m an entrepreneur who writes.

The way I got here—the blog, the coaching business, the media company—that was entrepreneurship. I loved building things. I loved the game. But publishers showed up and paid me to stop playing it.

I told myself a new story about who I was because the money was good. And I paid for it with five years of low-grade misery.

It’s easy to unconsciously change how you see yourself based on what other people reward. Someone congratulates you for being a certain thing, and you start being that thing.

We do this with all kinds of labels.

• “I’m anxious.”
• “I’m an introvert.”
• “I’m a Scorpio, that’s why I’m unhinged.”

The moment you adopt a label as identity, you do the mental gymnastics necessary to make it true. And before you know it, you’re doing backflips on The Trampoline of Unsatisfactory Expectations.

I’m back to building businesses now. Back to media, coaching, the stuff I actually like. I haven’t written a book in five years, and I’m happier for it.

The world will tell you who you are.

Doesn’t mean they’re right.

See you Monday,
Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast – My Community