Ask Me Anything

Below are questions that have been submitted for me to answer. Logged in members can upvote any question by clicking the up arrow next to it. Every few months I’ll pick some of the most upvoted questions (as well as some other questions I think are particularly good) and answer them in one of my Ask Me Anything videos.

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159

How do you find purpose in life?

My daughter bought me the book "How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free" and it emphasizes the importance of having a purpose in life--something that gets you out of the bed in the morning. My problem… (Show more)

My daughter bought me the book "How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free" and it emphasizes the importance of having a purpose in life--something that gets you out of the bed in the morning. My problem is that I suffer from what the Johnson-O'Connor Institute calls "too many aptitudes". Thus I find many different things interesting, but nothing that I could call a purpose in life. So how do you find that interest/activity/cause that gets you out of bed in retirement?

146

As a person becomes more self aware and self actualized, how do they deal with the feelings of isolation that result from being in a minority? Seriously, it's getting harder to find people that I can connect with in a meaningful way.

109

Why we care so much about what others think?

Why most of the times we’re more concerned on how something looks for others rather than how it does for us? Why are we deeply trapped into this external judgement dependancy?

100

What are your top tips to toughen the fuck up emotionally ( and physically if you like)?

I am asking because I think although I believe it is good to be open, sensitive and aware of your feelings I also think there is a need to be resilient as well. So..do you have… (Show more)

I am asking because I think although I believe it is good to be open, sensitive and aware of your feelings I also think there is a need to be resilient as well. So..do you have any practical tips that can help with this? Is it even something you can practice and improve on Of your own accord ?

92

How do I start over after feeling like I lost it all?

I lost my home/city, relationship, and I'm separated from my friends. I realize I have to move on, but to what? It's just not possible for me have what I had. How do I find a… (Show more)

I lost my home/city, relationship, and I'm separated from my friends. I realize I have to move on, but to what? It's just not possible for me have what I had. How do I find a way to be happy without the shadow of that former and better life? I'm 38, feel and look a lot younger. I feel like I should have something good to live for.

91

Your thoughts on Tinder?

Just curious to hear your thoughts on Tinder, the way it is designed and how that might affect us as individuals and the dating scene at large?

77

How do you start loving yourself for who you are?

It feels like I'm not standing on my own feet. I was super happy this summer and that was much because I met this girl. It feels like I really need other people to make myself… (Show more)

It feels like I'm not standing on my own feet. I was super happy this summer and that was much because I met this girl. It feels like I really need other people to make myself happy. I want to change that - I want to be happy by myself, I don’t want to rely on anyone elses love to know that I am loved and a good person. I know it's about loving myself - but how do you do that?

60

How do you define maturity ?

When you're growing up, in your twenties what are the things that you're mature or not? Is it self knowledge is it responsability is it something emotional?

54

If someone must see just one place in the world, what should it be?

Do you have a specific thing or place someone must see and you can only name one? A monument, national park, street, city, country, festival,etc.

53

What do you do when you and someone else are "fuck yes" for each other, but at different "levels"?

For example, take Bob and Sally. Bob is "fuck yes" for being more than friends with Sally, but Sally is only "fuck yes" for being close friends with Bob. How do they handle this situation? Is… (Show more)

For example, take Bob and Sally. Bob is "fuck yes" for being more than friends with Sally, but Sally is only "fuck yes" for being close friends with Bob. How do they handle this situation? Is it possible for them to land at the lowest denominator (in this case, being close friends) and be content with that, or is the relationship doomed to always to have tension between these two "levels"?

53

I’m looking for new podcasts to listen to. Do you listen to any? If so, which ones would you recommend?

50

Can you give us the hard-core version of "Negative Self-Help" (your preferred/desired title for the book that became "Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck")

Ok Mark, with your avid readers listening and you don't have to listen to asshole publishers saying what will and won't sell, tell us how "Negative Self-Help" really works, what are some unique but transformational ways… (Show more)

Ok Mark, with your avid readers listening and you don't have to listen to asshole publishers saying what will and won't sell, tell us how "Negative Self-Help" really works, what are some unique but transformational ways we can apply it in our lives, and how can I continue to apply it even though it SEEMS LIKE things are breaking down and falling apart.

Case in point, I started reading your book about 6 months ago and soon thereafter, my co-dependent relationship became too painful and I broke up with my girlfriend, and a month after that, I quit my job, moved to a competitor, and started learning new skills in a different industry. My life has changed for the better but I want more ideas to apply negative self-help.

46

Why we don't do the things we want and know that we if we do them our life will get better?

42

How do you deal with the thought of your own eventual death?

Mark: I don't think you have ever discussed death and dying. I just turned 70. I feel like 50 and I am mostly around younger people. I have led an interesting life but there are still… (Show more)

Mark:

I don't think you have ever discussed death and dying. I just turned 70. I feel like 50 and I am mostly around younger people. I have led an interesting life but there are still things I want to do/see/experience.

Yet I am acutely aware that I am a lot closer to the ceiling than the floor. My body is going to fail at some unknown time in the future. What are your thoughts on mortality and what happens after you die?

41

What was the most challenging moment in your life? How did you overcome it and what did you learn?

41

How can you accept and still be positive when you have been diagnosed with an illness that is not curable and life threatening ( example cancer)?

41

Do you have any dating advice specific to women?

You usually say that even though you write for men, your advice applies just as much to women. I'm curious, do you think there's any dating advice that's different for one or the other?

38

Is friendship in a romantic relationship more valuable than sex?

I was wondering how important you reckon sex is in a long term relationship? I'm dating my best friend, however due to his depression and past trauma's his sex drive is very low compared to my… (Show more)

I was wondering how important you reckon sex is in a long term relationship? I'm dating my best friend, however due to his depression and past trauma's his sex drive is very low compared to my high sex drive. I know it's hard work to maintain passion and desire in a relationship long-term anyways. Therefore, I'm struggling to end a romantic relationship with somebody I enjoy spending time with. I'm curious, what's your opinion on this Mark?

37

He's dating her, but still communicating with me on a daily basis. We can't seem to just let go of each other. Do I tell him to fuck off, even when I really don't want to?

It's like he's something that I never want to leave my life, and as long as he's giving me the attention, I'm going to soak it up. Fucking weakness, man.

35

Where's one place you've always wanted to travel to but haven't gone yet?

Name a place you've been wanting to see but haven't been yet?

35

Any tricks for dealing with PTSD?

I will be charging along and doing fairly well, when out of nowhere something triggers my PTSD issues. Any advice?

35

“Each person must never be treated only as a means to some other end, but must also be treated as an end themselves.”

Is it practically possible to live by this rule and make a living out of it? What are the industries that encourages this?

33

Do you feel a drive to change the world for the better? (sustainability, climate change)

33

How to differentiate complacency and being ok with who you are?

How to tell between laziness/fear of changing yourself for the better/losing your old identity vs being perfectly ok with your imperfect self?

33

how can i stop thinking about someone who, i know for a fact, will never be my partner?

she is quite attractive in terms of chemistry, but for practical reasons, I can't consider her my wife. I know it's not a big deal, but something that I never thought would be a struggle for someone like me!

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