In episode 12 of AMA, you covered the difficulty of being friends with an ex and how any feelings of regret or attachment or attraction or hope must be dead and buried before it is even… (Show more)
In episode 12 of AMA, you covered the difficulty of being friends with an ex and how any feelings of regret or attachment or attraction or hope must be dead and buried before it is even slightly possible to be friends with an ex, and even then, there must be commonality (kids, job, hobbies, etc.). Your answer was right on the mark, but it made me feel very sad anyway.
I miss my ex, she doesn't miss me. I was dumped. Now I am 72, I am retired, she is 58, self-employed. We live on different continents. She is in a new relationship. We've had no contact for ten years. She doesn't do any social media. I know next to nothing about her life since 2010.
I don't have a booming career anymore, I'm not wealthy but financially secure. I feel like I am not a good catch anymore. My sell-by date has passed.
My biggest fear was being alone and I have dealt with it. Been alone for ten years. I am used to it. I travel alone, stay in hostels (before COVID), and enjoy life. I have hobbies and interests. I am never bored but I am lonely.
I have met a lot of people in ten years. I have made some good friendships. But I haven't yet met anyone that compares to my ex from a compatibility and chemistry perspective.
I have not had a romance, even a short-lived one, since the breakup. When I have met someone where I see even a possibility worth exploring, they are not interested in a romantic relationship with me. I don't date any more.
I think about my past relationship with more fondness than anger. I know my own mistakes and why she ended things.
I also recognize I am very afraid to fall in love again, lest I get hurt as badly as I was hurt ten years ago. I thought we'd be together forever.
At 72, my future isn't nearly as long as my past. How can I stop thinking about my ex? I see the problems clearly. Otherwise, we'd still be together.
But instead of being afraid to live alone, I am now afraid to die alone.
Any suggestions for an old guy like me, whose ex is 14 years younger?