Ask Me Anything

Below are questions that have been submitted for me to answer. Logged in members can upvote any question by clicking the up arrow next to it. Every few months I’ll pick some of the most upvoted questions (as well as some other questions I think are particularly good) and answer them in one of my Ask Me Anything videos.

Site members can go here to submit a question. If you’re not a member, you can learn more about the membership here.

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1

Should parents prevent their kids from embarrassing themselves?

We all have moments in our life that make us cringe and go "oh god, why did nobody stop me"? I know parents are supposed to protect kids from hurting themselves. What about humiliation? Should parents… (Show more)

We all have moments in our life that make us cringe and go "oh god, why did nobody stop me"? I know parents are supposed to protect kids from hurting themselves. What about humiliation? Should parents protect their kids from making fools of themselves? Or does that fall into the category of simple life experience?

1

Is it possible to feel confident and anxious at the same time?

1

What is the one idea/ book/author/ personality that made the greatest impact in your life?

Hi Mark, This is Martin. I would like to know about the idea/ book/author/ personality that made the greatest impact in your life.

1

What’s your take on the principle of radical honesty?

I am reading the book and it seems to mirror your relationship with your wife and your standards for friends. Wondering if you think it’s practical to follow 100% without modifications.

0

Have you read much about Adlerian Psychology? If so, what are your thoughts on it?

1

How do I stop fixating on a specific aspect of my appearance?

An example would be someone's stature or someone's hair. It seems like the more I try not to fixate on it the more I do.

0

How do I stop fearing people?

Ever since I was little I feared people I was bullied and was punished from my teachers for things I didn't commit Which made me fear people that they may hurt me in one way or… (Show more)

Ever since I was little I feared people I was bullied and was punished from my teachers for things I didn't commit
Which made me fear people that they may hurt me in one way or another, which also lead to self steem issues
My mom is also one of the people i fear She is the kind of a person that it's lhard to be reasoned with, I'm engaged and evething I do is because of the fear of her, even my relation with my fiancee I force my self to do things just to satisfy her like staying in this relationship thought I don't love him, and that for her if I ended this I'm going to end up with a jerk because the one I'm with is a good opportunity and a good person and because I'm 31 so this is too late for me
Iam Female from Egypt
and yeah we have a lot of this kind of thoughts among us
Arabian women

1

How to resolve a conflict when both parties feel hurt by the other one?

My boyfriend and I had an argument, I tried to explain how emotionally hurt I was by his comments (in the hope that he can be more sensitive next time and avoid the topic) but he… (Show more)

My boyfriend and I had an argument, I tried to explain how emotionally hurt I was by his comments (in the hope that he can be more sensitive next time and avoid the topic) but he felt it is an area that he needs to push me and instead felt he has done nothing wrong and what I said to him was unjustified. In the end he was deeply hurt by my comments, thinking that I didn’t understand him. Now we both feel hurt and are stuck. How should we resolve this?

1

Should you wait to have your life in order before dating?

I'm 23, obese, don't have many friends and live a generally unattractive lifestyle. I have never been on a date, have really bad social anxiety and have a hard time talking to girls. I've read a… (Show more)

I'm 23, obese, don't have many friends and live a generally unattractive lifestyle. I have never been on a date, have really bad social anxiety and have a hard time talking to girls. I've read a lot of your stuff and have started to implement the ideas and strategies in it and have made a lot of progress in my life (finding a career, losing weight and being less anxious in general) and it's added so much value to my life so thank you. Should I wait until my life is no longer a mess before dating i.e. my weight is at a normal level, i have a proper career and learn to converse with people? Thanks again

2

What are your favorite countries in the world to live long-term in?

Working, living, and retiring in the US gets less appealing every year. Curious about other places in the world and would love to hear your input.

0

How can I learn to trust again after being married and now in a new relationship ??

1

How to cope or accept not being beautiful (females especially)?

I want to know more how you can accept yourself (without all the advice in personal help industry that accept yourself no matter what thing). Especially if you have had problems with this since teenage years… (Show more)

I want to know more how you can accept yourself (without all the advice in personal help industry that accept yourself no matter what thing). Especially if you have had problems with this since teenage years and when all females in your family and circle are beautiful or go in that category. How does someone consider themselves beautiful when they look in mirror and do not think so? How can you cope when your surroundings puts value in how you look and looks are a plus factor in every situation (work and personal)?

1

2020 has turned into a giant dumpster fire. How do we manage family relationships when everyone has different views about safety with Covid?

1

How to stop feeling guilty about sexual urges?

Hey Mark i often find myself having sexual urges for women who are taken and then feeling really shitty about it. I know its normal but it seems to bring out some shame/guilt in me which… (Show more)

Hey Mark i often find myself having sexual urges for women who are taken and then feeling really shitty about it. I know its normal but it seems to bring out some shame/guilt in me which then puts me in a dark place. Any tips on how to not be so hard on myself about this?


PS. GIVING UP PORN IS HARD AF!!

1

How do you/can you get out of the friendzone?

Hi Mark, I have this girl that I've been friends with for a while. We sometimes watch movies and series together, go for walks or to pubs. I never really made a move on her but… (Show more)

Hi Mark,
I have this girl that I've been friends with for a while. We sometimes watch movies and series together, go for walks or to pubs. I never really made a move on her but we see each other a lot and hang out often. I've been thinking for a while now to ask her out, but the thing is, I can't really tell if she is attracted to me and even if, I'm afraid that asking her could somehow fuck up our friendship.
What would you suggest I do in this situation?

1

Should you pursue multiple goals in balance for a year or laser focus on single one for a few months?

I often work on my goals in phases. I focus with obsessive intensity on a single goal or two for several months and put other areas of my life on maintenance mode. Is this a healthy… (Show more)

I often work on my goals in phases. I focus with obsessive intensity on a single goal or two for several months and put other areas of my life on maintenance mode. Is this a healthy way to pursue goals or is it better to balance things out but make sure all of year’s goals are covered?

1

How do I survive being the new kid?

So, I'm moving to a new school this year in high school and I'm a sophomore. I haven't moved in 12 years so it's basically my first time moving. Thank you :)

2

I have the need to be competitive in my relationships where I have to be better than others. What fundamentally is making me feel this way?

In relationships I need to be competitive which makes it difficult to be vulnerable. I have the need to be better than the others. Any suggestions on why I need to do this?

1

Dating in COVID times: Do you tell someone you’ve met online you like them if you haven’t met them yet?

I’ve met a woman online, we talk and message regularly, but haven’t met up yet because of lockdown restrictions. I’ve more or less told her how I feel about her and worried if I say I… (Show more)

I’ve met a woman online, we talk and message regularly, but haven’t met up yet because of lockdown restrictions. I’ve more or less told her how I feel about her and worried if I say I like her (which I do) I’ll freak her out because we haven’t met up yet.

0

I struggle with overcoming certain addictions, alcohol and marijuana, mainly due to my anxiety and depression, do you have advice for this?

I don’t know if I could be considered a true addict but sometimes the only way I can get relief depaite trying willingness and mindfulness, is by drinking or smoking. I know it’s not benefiting me,… (Show more)

I don’t know if I could be considered a true addict but sometimes the only way I can get relief depaite trying willingness and mindfulness, is by drinking or smoking. I know it’s not benefiting me, in any way, but I’m so scared to let go.

1

Should I leave my husband?

Quick summary. My husband and I have been married for 3 years, together for 12. We first got together when I was 16. We have three kids together. Anyway I have the urge to leave, be… (Show more)

Quick summary. My husband and I have been married for 3 years, together for 12. We first got together when I was 16. We have three kids together. Anyway I have the urge to leave, be on my own. I’m not IN love with him anymore but I still love them so much. He doesn’t want me to leave, saying he will kill himself if I go, he can’t live without me ect ect. I feel like I can’t go because I’ll absolutely destroy him and he’s a great human! I keep thinking to myself what is wrong with me, most women would kill for such a great husband/ father. He hasn’t done anything wrong but I’m 27 now and can’t shake the urge to leave and I’ve tried. Obviously there is more to this story but I’m trying to keep it brief. I love to hear your input

0

Should I end this relationship?

My needs aren’t being met. I am trying because we have great chemistry and he has some ptsd stuff going on. I think my logical brain knows it won’t last but I’m trying not to run… (Show more)

My needs aren’t being met. I am trying because we have great chemistry and he has some ptsd stuff going on. I think my logical brain knows it won’t last but I’m trying not to run away. But that’s probably my chimp brain Gerry talking.

1

How can I trust my partner will be honest about significant stuff, if he's not always honest about minor issues??

1

How do you find your passion if you're a polymath?

I think there are depth people and then there are breadth people. How do you become an expert at anything if you are a breadth person with lots of interest and not a narrowly focused depth person?

1

How can I stop resenting/hating my parents for the choices they made, even if they were well intentioned?

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