Episode 63: Building Real Confidence, The Motivation Puzzle, and Understanding All Your “Parts”

About the Episode

Drew comes in hot today as we dig into the nitty gritty of confidence and motivation. We explore the counterintuitive idea that true confidence doesn’t come from expecting success, but from being comfortable with failure. If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt or felt demotivated despite external achievements, this episode might just change your perspective.

We start by dissecting what I call the “Confidence Conundrum” and how it applies to various aspects of life, from business to relationships. Then, we challenge some long-held beliefs about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, discussing research that questions the idea that external rewards always undermine our natural interests. We wrap up with a thought-provoking exploration of Internal Family Systems theory and how understanding the different “parts” of our psyche can lead to greater self-integration. This is a grab bag episode that we had a lot of fun with, so I hope you enjoy it.

Quotes From the Episode

Confidence does not come from an expectation of success, it comes from a comfort with failure.

Success can make you less confident because the more you achieve, the more you have to lose.

The more willing you are to be rejected in a situation, over time, the less you’ll be rejected.