Episode 15: The Self-Improvement Paradox: When Trying to Get Better Feels Worse

About the Episode

What do you do when trying to improve your life makes you feel worse? What if trying to be better comes across as ‘try-hard’? What if setting more goals is just your way of avoiding your own bullshit?

This is the topic of discussion in today’s episode, “The Self-Improvement Paradox”—or in other words, why sometimes trying to be better makes you feel worse. It turns out improving yourself is nuanced and complicated.

Who would have thought?

Check it out.

Quotes From the Episode

The number one reason that people don’t ultimately change or grow is because their ego prevents them from admitting that they need to change and grow.

Paradoxically, sometimes the best way to improve at something is to stop trying to improve at it.

Are you accepting yourself because you’re avoiding the problems in your life? Well, then that’s probably a kind of a toxic self-acceptance.

Are you constantly trying to improve yourself or achieve things or chase after goals because you’re running away from a bunch of emotional shit that you don’t want to deal with? Well, then that’s probably a toxic form of self-improvement.

The best way to measure self-esteem is not asking how people feel about the good things about themselves. The most accurate way to measure it is to ask people how they feel about the bad parts about themselves.