What to Do When Other People Aren’t Happy for You

563 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Two things for you to think about

If something great happens in your life and the people around you aren’t happy for you—that’s a problem. Find new people.

If something great happens for someone in your life and you aren’t happy for them—that’s a problem, too.

Two things for you to ask yourself

If there are people in your life who are not happy when good things happen to you, ask yourself why? And then ask yourself why you continue to keep those people in your life.

If you are not happy for the people in your life when good things happen to them, ask yourself why? What assumption or judgment is preventing you from being happy for them?

One thing for you to try this week

Challenge yourself to be happy for someone who you are not accustomed to being happy for. Figure out what it would mean if you were genuinely happy for them. How would you be different? How would your perception of them be different?

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I revealed the secret to success—doing something most people are unwilling to do—and asked you to, uh… go do it.

Our first reader is kicking ass despite being technically unemployed. That’s because they’re doing something most people wouldn’t think of:

I have been unemployed and in the job search for four months. However, I’ve supplemented my income with performing live music at hotel lounges and private events. I’ve also just met with a mentor to discuss a business idea I want to start.

I’ve been the happiest I’ve been and am so surprised I feel that way given I’m unemployed. Somehow I’ve been able to sustain my lifestyle with other income streams. I think these are definitely actions most people wouldn’t do.

Another reader is literally racing to success:

I recently ran my first ultramarathon (50 kilometers/31 miles) and am now training for a 50-mile race, which falls into the category of something that I enjoy doing that most people do not and that I’m naturally good at (but not running-as-a-day-job good).

The value for me comes from pushing physical and mental limits. Succeeding in something I’ve never done before gives me the confidence and mental fortitude to know I can accomplish difficult things in other areas of my life. I’m not sure that I’ll successfully complete the 50-mile race, but even if I don’t finish, I will have tried and learned in the process.

More than the races themselves, the training and process has been transformative—I’ve found a great community, started eating healthier and cut out almost all alcohol, and organized my time better to accommodate hours of running.

At work, Akshay has greatly benefitted from doing something other people aren’t willing to do:

When I joined my first job, it was not a great initial few months. I was even threatened that I could be let go if I didn’t live up to the standards.

The problem was: My seniors didn’t impart the work process knowledge they had wholeheartedly. They always kept some crucial pieces of information to themselves. Turns out, most people are afraid that if they share their knowledge with others, they may become irrelevant.

I decided not to do so to anyone. After me, three more people joined. And I was the one they always reached out to. I trained them the best I could. We had a wonderful team. In this process, I also taught some of the crucial aspects to a newly joined team leader who was facing the same issue. We became really amazing acquaintances and then real-life friends.

Fast forward three years, he helped me get out of that company and now my salary is four times more than that in my first job.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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