Doing This Is Never Worth It…

108 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Two things for you to think about

Don’t ever tolerate disrespect because you want someone to like you. Not only will they not like you, but you will quickly stop liking yourself.

People unconsciously look to see how we feel about ourselves to know how they should feel about us. The best way to win respect is to respect yourself first.

Two things for you to ask yourself

Are you sacrificing your self-respect for the sake of someone else’s approval? If so, how soon can you stop?

Two things for you to try this week

Act with self-respect as your highest priority. Don’t apologize for it, either.

New This Week

Life-Changing Insights From Traveling to Every Country in the World (ft. Drew Binsky) – Drew Binsky has been to every country in the world. He has chatted with North Koreans in their homeland and volunteered in Syria in the middle of a civil war. Yet, he’s come to a surprising conclusion: most people, most of the time, are good.

In this past week’s podcast, Binsky shares the profound lessons he’s learned from traveling to war zones and failed states. We discuss how the most impactful trips are often the most challenging, where to find the friendliest people on Earth, and more. It’s a deep dive into the heart of travel and human nature that might just inspire you to see the world differently. Check it out.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to give up the desire to be right, to be heard, to be appreciated… and see what happens.

Our first reader was taught a valuable life lesson by their father:

My dad taught me about not insisting on being right a long time ago. I was 15 on my learner’s permit with my dad in the car, and came up to a 4-way stop sign. I stopped, and then was just getting ready to pull into the intersection when Dad said, ‘Hold it.’ We’d both seen a car coming up the crossroad, but where I had assumed it would stop, Dad knew that it wasn’t going to. Sure enough, it blew its stop sign.

I was very indignant and said, ‘Why did I have to stop? I was here first, it was him that should have stopped!’ Dad replied, ‘Well, you would have been right. You may have been dead, but you would have been right.’

Since then I have come to the realization that I have a limited amount of time and energy, but there are an unlimited amount of assholes out there so it behooves me to pick my battles wisely.

Next, my prompt verbalized exactly what Jessica has been doing, and here’s what happened for her:

I no longer care about being right since we are all entitled to believe what we choose to and there is just no point in trying to change someone else’s viewpoint. Now, I let it be unless it puts me in danger, physically or mentally, at which point I just remove myself.

Being appreciated I found to be finicky… I would put myself at the ‘mercy’ of others. How stupid was that! I gave my power away. I got hurt and got over it, like us all, multiple times. Gradually all that changed. Now, it no longer matters. I can’t remember the last time I felt hurt…

And ‘being heard,’ well, I know who I am, what my values are and what I contribute to society. And that’s what matters.

I can now say that without a doubt I am at peace! I am at peace with myself and with the world. I value my family and friends for who they are, not for what they can give me.

It is remarkable what happens when you leave all these things behind!

To end, a reader’s takeaway we could all learn from:

It shouldn’t matter what people think of you. Especially if those people aren’t very nice. Remembering to be comfortable with not being liked is my thought of the day. Because it doesn’t take someone’s appreciation to get to where I’m going.

Or as I like to put it: if you wouldn’t ask them for advice, why the f*ck do you care about their criticism?

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website — My Books — My YouTube Channel