Your Life Will Be Chosen for You…

83 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Four things for you to think about

If you don’t choose your values, others will choose them for you.
If you don’t choose your beliefs, others will choose them for you.
If you don’t choose how to use your time, others will choose it for you.

When you choose what to watch or read, you are choosing your future thoughts and perspectives. Only consume what you’d like to become.

Two things for you to ask yourself

When have you neglected to choose for yourself who you want to be? What were the repercussions?

One thing for you to try this week

Challenge yourself to reject a belief that you hold that may not be yours. If it’s not yours, where did it come from?

New This Week

Are Smartphones Really Ruining Our Lives… Or Is It Something Else? (ft. Jonathan Haidt) – Dr. Haidt makes a compelling case that our addiction to these devices is wreaking havoc on society, from mental health crises to political turmoil. But is it really all the smartphone’s fault? I’m not so sure it’s quite that simple, so I wanted to dive deeper into the issue.

We get into the nitty-gritty and I challenge some of Haidt’s claims, exploring questions like, why do these issues seem to hit the English-speaking world the hardest? Is this another moral panic, or is this time really different? We also discuss the differences in how smartphones affect various demographics and cultures, and why understanding these distinctions is important. Plus, we explore Jonathan’s practical recommendations for parents, educators, and policymakers. Check it out.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to find one thing to be grateful for and note how it affects your mood and attitude.

A similar practice helped Josh through tough times:

During COVID I started the routine of keeping a small notebook and trying to write ten things per day that I was grateful for. It helped me to set aside all the craziness that was going on around us, to sit and think ‘hey, I don’t have it that bad.’

I fell out of that habit for a while, but recently started writing in that same notebook after a layoff and the ensuing, painstaking job search. Somehow, even as things seemed to get more stressful, I was able to still write down 10, 20, even 30 things off the top of my head that I was grateful for each day.

I’m a huge believer that the exercise of recognizing the things that you’re grateful for can have an immense effect on your overall mood and which type of lens you decide to see the world through.

Megan was recently delighted by what her daughter was grateful for:

I grew up in a very religious household, and I remember one of the many things that hit me in my twenties—as I moved away from religion—was the fact that gratefulness was often spoken to this distant being, but was not attributed to the real people in our everyday lives who deserved the thanks and appreciation.

I have two kids now (3 and 5). We have started the tradition of holding hands before meals and ‘being grateful.’ Anyone can give a shout out, which may include being grateful for Mom, Dad, siblings, our house, but sometimes they surprise us, for example, being grateful for elephants at the zoo or for hotdogs and ketchup.

Recently, my daughter said she was grateful for herself, which made us really happy to hear. I truly believe that taking a moment to be grateful puts things into perspective and makes you feel more complete in a world that constantly tells you that you are lacking.

Our last reader Pia finds three things to be grateful for before bed:

I have done this for years, except I find (at least) three things to be grateful for, and I do it before going to sleep. For me it’s a way of holding on to the day and not just let it pass.

I go through the day in my thoughts, and then I suddenly remember a kind remark or a nice and unexpected meeting, maybe just a beautiful sunset or that I felt I had been efficient at work. I am thankful for my children, my family and my fantastic partner, for good health and that I live in a peaceful part of the world—that is something we should not take for granted any longer.

Even if it has been a shitty day, I always manage to find three things, and all of a sudden I find even more things. I find that being thankful is uplifting and raises your awareness.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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