Why Worry?

53 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Four things for you to think about

Instead of worrying if they’ll like you, ask yourself if you are going to like them.
Instead of trying to say the right thing, see if they say the right thing to you.
Instead of looking for their approval, decide if you are willing to give yours.

99% of people’s judgments have more to do with them than they do with you.

Two things for you to ask yourself

What is one thing you’re worried people will think about you right now? Why does it bother you that others will think this?

One thing for you to try this week

Take one worry you have and ask yourself what you’d do if you weren’t so worried, then go do it. Let me know what happens.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to go do one thing you’ve been procrastinating on.

My prompt was the nudge Elly needed:

I’ve been holding onto my mature student application form for a performing arts degree at my local college. I’ve been waiting to attend an open day in three weeks’ time so I can speak to the course leader and get more information. I’ve been waiting to run into an acquaintance who’s currently on the course to get more information. I’ve been waiting to hear back from the student loan company to see if I can get a student loan for it.

After reading this email I’ve just hit send! Eek!

Our next reader got cleaning:

I need to clean/declutter my home office. It started out as my creative space, but has morphed into a bit of a dumping ground for things ‘I’ll deal with later.’ I was overwhelmed just looking at what I’ve allowed it to become. Ashamed. I finally decided enough is enough. I set a timer for one hour and started cleaning. When the timer went off, I stopped. It’s not a masterpiece yet, but I made progress and I feel so much better. Baby steps.

To end, what exactly we’re procrastinating on isn’t always obvious. But Chris finally figured his out:

This whole procrastination concept is a tough one. Mid last year I got COVID, and subsequently long COVID. I went from a smart, high-performing, deadline-smashing employee to… well, none of that.

I knew my old approach to work needed to change. I could no longer just power through without any strategies or systems. But I put it off. Surely this long COVID was temporary? Surely I would be magically healthy again tomorrow and I could be the old me.

Come this year, new job, same old problems, and a new bout of COVID that just refreshed and worsened some of the symptoms.

I realized I was procrastinating on approaching work a new way because it was saying goodbye to that old me. It was admitting I am unwell. Potentially for a long time. And those new systems and approaches were proof that, in some way, the identity I had of myself of this clever, ‘think my way out’ of problems, hard charger person no longer existed. It was a core part of my identity. It’s hard to let go.

But I can get through it. Small changes, minor trial and errors of different ideas, seeing what will work with how my mind is now. It’s a whole new world out there, I just need to explore it a little.

Thanks for the prompt.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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