Make This Your Year of Saying “No”

Today is the day, yet again. The day where we all sit down, contemplate our lives, dwell on what we want to change and ask ourselves, “What do I want in the new year?” 

There are the cliché answers—lose some weight, get a raise, save some money, go on a nice vacation. Then, there are deeper, more personal answers—get over a fear, find a romantic partner, learn a new skill. 

But the underlying assumption of all of these goals is that there is some magical thing that you lack. Something that you must clear both mental and physical space to add into the over-crowded bookshelf of a life. 

And if you’re like me, you’ve now done this same exercise dozens of times and, most years, it doesn’t amount to a whole lot. The small clearing you carve out of the chaos recedes, and the noble intentions set today soon turn into a faint memory. 

Well, this year, I’d like to suggest a different approach: 

Instead of thinking about what you’d like to add to your life, ask yourself what you’re willing to give up or remove from your life. 

Because in 2026, most of our problem is not that we lack access or opportunity to something. The problem is that we have access and opportunity for too much. We are scattered, distracted, overwhelmed, pulled in eight different directions, and as a result, we live our lives in constant motion and stimulation but still feeling like we got nothing done. 

So, instead of thinking in terms of what you want to gain, think in terms of what you will give up. Don’t think, “I want to lose weight,” think about the snacks, dinners, alcohol and nights out that you’re willing to trade away… as trading them away will naturally result in the fitness you desire. 

Instead of thinking in terms of finding a new partner, think in terms of all of the types of people you will no longer spend time on—the ones who you know are wrong for you, yet you keep going through the motions anyway. And realize that by removing yourself from the spaces and environments populated with the wrong people, you make space for the right person to arrive on their own. 

Instead of the money you want to save, think of the expenses you will cut. Instead of the hobby you want to rekindle, think of the mind-numbing activities you’ll stop. Instead of trying to fix the drama in your life, maybe consider the conversations you won’t have. 

Two things will happen when you approach the new year this way:

First, you’ll likely find yourself having to set boundaries with people. You’ll have to learn how to say, “Sorry, I’m not doing that this year.” And that’s going to be awkward and un-fun and totally upsetting to some, so you’ll want to be prepared for when it happens. That’s why the first episode of the Solved Podcast in 2026 is dedicated to setting and maintaining boundaries. 

Second, you’ll need accountability. You’re going to slip up. You’re going to tell yourself, “No chocolate on weekdays,” and then you’re going to find yourself swan-diving into a molten lava cake because it’s your cousin’s roommate’s dog’s birthday and oh-my-god, have you tried this bakery? Its flour is imported from France in the bowling hats of mimes. It’s soooooo good.  

Simply put: you will need accountability. Someone (or something) nudging you when you mess up and keeping you on the path, keeping you honest with yourself. Tomorrow, we’re rolling out some accountability features in the Purpose app, especially designed to help people stick to their goals in the new year. There’s a free 7-day trial if you’d like to check it out. 

As for me, what am I saying “no” to in 2026? 

You. 

Haha, no, seriously. I’m saying no to my obscene lack of work-life balance in 2026. After going hard the past two years—launching a podcast, a new business, and traveling the world speaking and making documentaries—daddy needs a break. 

Yes, I called myself “daddy.” And that is something I will not stop doing in 2026. 

So, send me what you’re planning to give up this year. Maybe I’ll make a scrapbook with them with all the newfound free time I’m going to have. Or maybe I’ll just check in with everyone in December to see how our community did. 

Just hit reply and let me know. 

Here’s to a great year,
Mark Manson

P.S. Quick reminder that Purpose AI has a 7-day free trial for subscribers. Make sure you get off to a great start this year and try it out.