If Saying “No” Is Hard For You

46 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Three practical ways to say “No”

People needing you constantly:

I would love to help you, but I’m going to be unavailable for the next [time].

Why it works: People accept a “no” much easier if they know it’s not personal or about them.

You’re overworked and need a break:

My bandwidth is maxed out, I’m not going to be effective unless I take a break.

Why it works: Research shows that people will accept disappointing news if it’s given a logic or rationale—any logic/rationale.

Topic feels too emotionally charged:

This conversation is getting emotional. Why don’t we press pause on it and come back to it later?

Why it works: People generally recognize that they will likely say dumb/hurtful things when they’re emotionally triggered. Acknowledging that makes it much easier to say you don’t want to get into a big fight than simply shutting the person out.

Two things for you to ask yourself

Do you have trouble saying “no”? Why do you think you do?

One thing for you to try this week

Say “no” to one thing you’d normally say “yes” to, then regret later. If you’re not sure how, download my free Boundaries, Solved Guide below.

Free Guide: Learn to Say No Like You Mean It

If you actually want this year to be different—not just busier or more productive—but better, then learning how to set and hold healthier boundaries is probably the most important skill you can work on. Strong boundaries protect your relationships, your energy, and the few things in your life that actually matter. Without them, everything else falls apart.

That’s why Drew and I devoted an entire Solved episode to boundaries and put together a 100-page companion guide you can download for free. Boundaries, Solved breaks down why boundaries are so hard to set and keep, the different kinds of boundaries healthy people need, and the six core skills that turn wanting to say no into actually doing it. Just smash the link below to download your free guide to healthier boundaries now.

Download The Boundaries, Solved Guide (It’s Free)

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to pause what you’re doing and reflect on your year.

2025 was about letting go for our first reader:

This year broke me and built me at the same time. I let go of people, habits, and hopes that weren’t good for me anymore. Some were my choice and some weren’t, but they were good nonetheless. The pain wasn’t easy but I learned that I need to sit through it. Life showed me very clearly who’s real and who never was. I learned that confidence isn’t about being liked—it’s knowing I’ll survive even if I’m not. I miss the version of me that believed people meant well. I’m still my own worst critic and some days have major imposter syndrome. It reminds me of something I read a long time ago, that when we shine light on the flaw, we trick our brain into believing that and that flaw becomes our whole identity.

Most importantly, I grew, painfully and honestly, in ways I never thought I would. Forever grateful from all that I learned and in all the ways I grew.

2025 was the year that shed that extra weight of relationships that didn’t serve me, and 2026 will be the year of me shooting for the stars. I will reach the highs and peaks that I can’t imagine, and it will all pan out for me.

Wishing everyone a blessed and fulfilling 2026.

While Adriana is embracing her retirement:

I read your newsletters every Monday and each one hits a little differently each time. This one truly made me reflect and filled me with gratitude!

This past year has been stabilizing for me. In 2023-24 I decided I was done with a real estate career that consumed me for over 15 years and left me feeling like I was never doing enough; as a result, I never felt like I was ‘enough.’ Since transitioning out of the real estate business I have been adrift without a clear course of action. I thought I wanted to start another business and felt like a failure when I didn’t follow through.

This was until one day, my husband came home from lunch with his friend and said ‘I told my friend you are retired. It just seemed like a simple explanation.’ That was when I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. My husband was actually proud that we were able to have me retire at 50 and he plans to follow suit in 2026. Without the pressure of ‘oh my GOD what is next and how can I be productive?’ I felt this sense of pride in all we accomplished instead of this intense burden that I was unknowingly carrying around.

So, I guess the word I am leaving behind is ‘productivity’ and I am embracing the unknown. I plan to use my time and freedom to be of service. I started writing and recording guided meditations and submitting them to a well-known meditation app. I have found so much joy creating tracks and helping people in this way despite the fact that I am not ‘earning a living’ doing it. Perhaps my words for this year will be ‘alignment, service, and gratitude.’ I am truly grateful to be in a position where I am not measuring my worth by what I earn, rather how I am impacting others while remaining true to myself.

Thank you for these newsletters and for everything you share with the world. Voices like yours helped me find my way back to myself.

Happy New Year.

To end, Lisa from our community also found her way in 2025:

This last year was definitely one of self-discovery and it was actually quite a challenge to go through this phase.

I’ve focused on living authentically and with integrity and forming strong connections, while allowing those that weren’t, to fall away. I’ve set firm boundaries.

At times I felt I was being selfish dedicating time to myself but I’ve realized it’s made me a better friend and mother and the feedback I’ve received from family and friends validated this.

I’m a natural leader and nurturer and I speak the truth so I will continue to build on that.

My why is simple: because I am worth it.

My next step forward will be to celebrate my successes in 2025 and to set clear goals and intentions for 2026.

If you’d like to join our Solved Membership community to celebrate your successes and set clear goals alongside members like Lisa, we’d love to have you. This month’s live course is all about setting boundaries—though there is far more for you to explore inside. Learn more in one click here.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast – My Community