Front-Load Your Weird

The night I met my wife, I was explaining Russian grammar at 3AM in a Brazilian nightclub. I did my best to scare her off.

I was living as a nomad at the time. I was 23 or 25 or 27—one of those ages where you think you’re hot sh*t but you’re really just sh*t (and not hot).

I met her at this club in Brazil. Within maybe five minutes, I’m somehow deep into how Russian grammar differs from romance languages.

At 3AM. In a nightclub. To a woman I just met.

And she’s just… there. Listening. If she wasn’t actually serious, she deserved an Oscar for acting like she was.

I remember looking at her mid-sentence and thinking: “Holy sh*t, she’s still here.”

That’s when I knew we were going to get along.

The dating world tells you to be cool.

• “Don’t be too much.”
• “Don’t show your weird too early.”
• “Play it safe until they’re hooked.”

I did the opposite—full linguistics nerd within five minutes.

And it worked… Because it was a filter.

Anyone who would’ve been scared off by that conversation wasn’t going to work anyway. The performance version of me might’ve gotten a second date. But then I’d have to keep performing.

I gave a 15-minute TEDx talk to say what I’m about to say in one sentence:
It’s better to be disliked for who you are than liked for who you’re not.

Front-load your weird. The right person will stay.

See you Monday,
Mark

P.S. Imagine if an AI could tell you exactly who was compatible with you and how to get your needs met in your relationship with as little struggle or conflict as possible?

That’s the new feature we’ve rolled out at Purpose. Check out our new Love Maps assessment, using the AI we’re able to assess all of the most fundamental parts of your romantic psychology and help you gain a better understanding of how your relationships work (or don’t work). Try it free for seven days.