Stop Chasing What You Want

Navy SEAL training has an exercise called “drown-proofing,” where they tie you up and dump you into a pool. Your job is to survive for five minutes.

Most SEALs fail. A few have even died.

But some make it. And they do so because they understand two counterintuitive lessons:

1. The more you struggle to keep your head above water, the more likely you are to sink.
2. The more you panic, the more oxygen you will burn and the more likely you are to fall unconscious and drown.

This skill—the ability to let go when you want control the most—is one of the most important skills anyone can develop.

You see, for simple, mindless, repetitive tasks in life, effort and reward tend to have a linear relationship. Spend an hour in the car and you’ll go further than you would in 30 minutes.

However, most activities in life are not mindless. Most are complex, mentally and/or emotionally taxing, and require adaptation. You don’t always get what you put in. Over time, in fact, you get less.

With most things in life, the more you try, the more you get.

But with the most important things, the opposite is true.

• Pursuing happiness takes you further away from it.
• Seeking approval makes you feel more rejected.
• Wanting more freedom makes you feel trapped.

And that’s the paradox:

The stuff you want most—peace, freedom, confidence—you can’t get by chasing it.
You only get it by giving up the chase.

See you Monday,
Mark

P.S. Giving up the chase is the easy part. Knowing what to do instead—that’s where most people get stuck. I built an AI coaching app called Purpose to help people with exactly that. It doesn’t motivate you or pump you up like most AI. It learns who you are—your values, your patterns, your blindspots—and then shows you what you’ve been avoiding. Try it free here.