The Most Important Relationship
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Two things for you to think about
Every decision you make shapes who you have to live with tomorrow. Make sure you’re creating a person you like being with.
You’re going to be in a relationship with yourself for your entire life. So you should probably learn how to make it a good one.
Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.
Two things for you to ask yourself
Do you like spending time with yourself?
What’s one decision you can make today that will improve that relationship?
Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.
One thing for you to try this week
Do one thing today that the person you want to be tomorrow would be proud of. Reply and tell me what it was.
Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs. Reply to this email and let me know how it went for you.
Last week’s breakthroughs
In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to stop chasing what you think will make you happy.
Alissa stopped chasing perfection:
I’m on vacation with my family, and this message hit home. Even in tropical paradise with the people I love most, I’m finding mundane things that need to happen in order to relax and find joy. Perfectionism and a striving for ‘completion’ stand between me and the happiness I already have access to. With 3 young kids, I’m going to be toiling for a long long time if I don’t drop this misconception! I’m ready to let go of the lie of perfection, and instead see each moment as my arrival. I don’t want to miss it.
Jennifer is trading excuse for action:
This year has been the year of unhappiness. My best friend died on January 7th. My health has needed some changes, and I haven’t had the motivation to fix the things I need to. I have blamed the grieving process and used it as an excuse for many things, including not being happy and not making the changes I need.
Your newsletter came on my best friend’s birthday, and I felt like she was talking to me. I am not going to use her death as an excuse and start doing all of the things I know I should do. If she were still alive, she would be my biggest supporter, so why should I hold myself back due to her not being here?
Today I choose better choices that will lead to happiness. The things I need to do that I know will make me happier are already there; I just need to do them. She would have been the first person to tell me to get out of my funk, so it’s time to get moving. Happiness will come along the journey.
Finally, Alex realized he was happy all along:
This week’s email on happiness hit really hard. I’m going through a marriage breakdown and I thought that I was unhappy in the relationship.
But ten weeks into the separation and no contact with my partner, I’ve realized just how lucky and happy I was. What I thought was missing, what I thought would make me happy, turns out was all superficial, and at its core the marriage did make me happy.
Unfortunately, there’s no chance of the relationship reconciling. So I’ve lost that particular happiness forever.
But it has reinforced to me, as I move forward, to be more grateful for what I have and that happiness doesn’t necessarily scream out loud at one’s self, but can be found in the small things that we often take for granted.
As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.
Until next week,
Mark Manson
#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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