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The Conversation You’re Avoiding

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    17 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

    Two thing for you to think about

    The honest conversation you’re avoiding is likely the one your relationship needs the most.


    Avoiding conflict doesn’t protect a relationship. It lets one person suffer in silence while the other suffers by wrongly thinking everything is fine.

    Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.

    Two things for you to ask yourself

    What honest conversation are you avoiding? What’s it costing your relationship?

    Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.

    One thing for you to try this week

    Have the honest conversation you’ve been avoiding this week. Reply and tell me what happened.

    Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs. Reply to this email and let me know how it went for you.

    Last week’s breakthroughs

    In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to pick one thing you said you would do and hadn’t, and go do it.

    Caitlin finally got started:

    I’ve been stuck trying to plan some social media posts to get my graphic design business off the ground (where it lays covered in dust). I accepted that it can’t be perfect off the bat, and to just get stuck into it. Well, I’m happy to report I have a really rough draft. Thanks for the motivation to get it done! A weight has lifted off my chest.

    While Jen took a step back:

    In regards to this week’s prompt: I decided to take a week off from playing a popular online trading card game I recognized I had become addicted to after telling myself I’d take a week’s break for months, now.

    I had been playing the game for a little over a year. My choice to take a step back was right. The time away showed me the game is nothing but a digital opioid. I realized the game was fake, stealing my time, money, and didn’t really provide worthwhile entertainment. I also recognized with this time off that a relationship with another individual that developed through the same game was abusing (to put it lightly) and controlling my time and energy.

    I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer at the beginning of the year and turned to the game and the wrong person for comfort. Had I not read your email and taken the week off from this game, I’d still be in a toxic relationship wasting my time on a fake game. My eyes are opened to the real world around me, and I am ready for my upcoming cancer surgery. Thank you, Mark.

    Finally, Jill is showing up for herself:

    The one place in my life where I am not reliable is with myself. My friends know they can count on me to be there for them, but I find that I can’t count on me all of the time.

    I can’t trust myself not to eat all the cookies in one sitting rather than saving some for Future Me. I can’t rely on myself to plant my new tomatoes in a timely manner. And I let myself down with scheduling workouts. I’m just not showing up for me.

    So the one thing I am going to do this week is to be reliable to myself. How? I’ve already scheduled my workouts in the calendar, and tonight after work, I will plant those tomatoes. And then reflect more on ways I can be a reliable friend to myself.

    As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

    Until next week,

    Mark Manson

    #1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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