How to Make Your Eight-Year-Old Self Happy

0 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Two things for you to think about

Do things that would make your eight-year-old self happy and your eighty-year-old self proud.

Change requires letting a former version of yourself die.

Therefore, maturity is a series of small funerals for the people you used to be.

Two things for you to ask yourself

What could you do today that would make your eight-year-old self happy?
What could you do today that would make your eighty-year-old self proud?

One thing for you to try this week

Go do those two things. Today. Reply and let me know how that feels.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to pick one thing you’ve been making excuses about, and go do it.

Karina traded her excuses for happiness:

I’ve been making excuses to watch TV instead of doing things I actually enjoy. For 11 years, I blamed my husband because watching TV was the only thing we did ‘together.’ Since we broke up four months ago, I’ve realized that watching TV ‘together’ isn’t the same as really doing something together. And suddenly, I had no one to blame but myself.

My mind tried to come up with new excuses, like not going out with friends at night because I’d be tired in the morning—which I was anyway, even when I didn’t go out. So I said, ‘F— it,” to most of those shitty excuses and just did things. I went to a poetry slam, took my first solo trip, went to a concert alone, and finished a running race, just to name a few things. As ‘I can’t because…’ turned into ‘I’ll try because…,’ my mental and physical health improved enormously. I’ve become the happiest soon-to-be-divorced person I can imagine.

Eventually, I realized that not every reason to skip something is just an excuse. I’m still learning to tell the difference between avoiding something and genuinely needing a rest. For example, if your body is telling you it needs a break from running, cut it some slack—or you might end up feeling really sh*tty for a whole week.

Our second reader is taking it one day at a time:

I’d sit and sulk that I don’t have a job based on the amount of experience I have on my resume. I took the time out of my day to break down the four-page resume into three separate resumes to focus on skills and traits I’ve learned through the jobs I’ve worked in my life since 18. I’m 29 now and some days feel easier than others and other days I feel like I’m on top of the world with my accomplishments and achievements. I’m learning to find a balance.

Last but not least:

It seems like a simple breakthrough but I started recognizing whenever I found myself looking at the external world for solutions.

I’ve been feeling lost in my career and I often found myself, subconsciously, seeking answers in the market. I am a marketer by trade and I found myself complaining about my career because of the way marketing is treated in most organizations, as an order taker vs. a strategic partner.

While this is part of it, there’s also a whole other component to the scenario which is how I’ve responded/reacted to my work—pushing for more, constantly advocating for a voice or taking roles where I am a builder or a fixer. I started to recognize that the emotional wear-and-tear has been draining me to build market opportunities for a company that only wants a pink poster.

I know it may seem basic, but I know many smart people who are pushing water up a wall for companies that are transactional with their people… and these individuals are also experiencing the same angst. I’ve had to take my career expectations down to the studs and start the process of managing my energy around my work… ironically to care less to do better work, by remaining objective, measured and removed. Passion is important for meaningful work but your passion is an iota of what makes you effective in any role.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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