Sorry to interrupt the Quake 3 match, but this is kind of important. And besides, you were probably going to win anyway.
Look, it's your future self -- 10 years in the future, to be exact. I'm writing this while watching a sunset on a beach in Turkey. Yes, THAT Turkey. Don't ask why; it's cooler than you think. In fact, most of the world is cooler than you think, but you'll discover this eventually.
I have some things I want to say. And look, some of it may be painful to hear, but it's for your own good. I know how much you hate to be lectured and scolded (oh, you rebel, you), and I know how squeamish you get with confrontation (you will get over this... mostly). But I'm here to help. And considering I'm you, there's no way you can claim you know better than me. So listen up.
First things first: cut the damn hair. It was cool for like ten minutes in 11th grade. I know the girls giggle and say you look like Johnny Depp from Blow, but sorry, you don't, and it's not like it'd help your …