The Key to Self-Discipline

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    113 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

    Two things for you to think about

    Discipline is conditioning your brain to not give a shit if it’s hard or it hurts or it sucks.

    If it needs to get done, it gets done.


    “Doing hard things” is a habit that must be practiced, or, like all habits, it will be lost.

    Reflect: Then consider sharing this thought with others.

    Two things for you to ask yourself

    What hard things have you practiced doing in your life? What areas of your life could you lean a bit more into doing hard things?

    Recommended: Use these as journaling prompts for the week.

    One thing for you to try this week

    Do something difficult this week, simply for the sake that it’s difficult and uncomfortable.

    Remember: Small changes lead to lasting breakthroughs. Reply to this email and let me know how it went for you.

    New This Week

    Why It’s So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult – Making friends is hard, and I hate to tell you, it gets harder. Last week’s podcast explores the different types of friendships we experience throughout our lives, how these friendships evolve, and then of course what you really came for—how to actually make friends as an adult. Enjoy, and good luck out there.

    Last week’s breakthroughs

    In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to say “fuck it” to one prior limitation you accepted for yourself.

    Our first reader, Shiyun, is a parent who’s doing her best to not let others’ limitations shape her son’s life:

    I used to allow the limitations of others to affect how I parent.

    I know that most of them mean well when they share their point of view. But it’s often limited by either a) them wanting their children to achieve what they themselves managed to achieve in life, or b) them wanting their children to achieve what they didn’t manage to achieve in life.

    Either way, it’s about what they want, and not what their children want.

    It’s not easy but I try not to be limited by how society defines ‘success.’ I hope to allow my kid to freely explore and really find his own meaning and purpose in life.

    Our next reader is trying to stay true to themselves and disregard the limitations their family has placed on them:

    I’ve been suffering the last few years from having way too much pressure from four different family members on what they think is best for me. And because I ‘care’ about my family and what they think, it was harder to dismiss than let’s say a friend’s or a stranger’s opinion.

    But this year I’ve gained the courage to stand up for my shit, try everything I want to and just not give a f*ck. It’s not about being prideful or having an ego, but I think knowing and being yourself is one of the toughest skills to practice.

    Last but not least, Jake broke free from society’s limitations to finally pursue his lifelong passion:

    I’ve been an MC since I was 16. I made a bunch of music but never got traction back in the late ‘90s and early 2000s. I got married, had kids and just stopped the music. I would try to get back into it but my wife didn’t like the ‘time away from family’ and also it was costing instead of earning money. I also thought I can’t be a successful rapper in my mid thirties. No one supports that. No one gives you an atta boy for making a dope song when you’re 35-40 years old.

    I let other people’s expectations of a white male adult deter me from my passion.

    Fast forward a few years and we’re divorced now. I have a lot of time to myself. Started making beats and writing again about a year ago. It’s the best feeling in the world. It’s who I am and I choked it down for a decade. I will never do that again.

    As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

    Until next week,

    Mark Manson

    #1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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