Life’s Most Important Skill

110 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Two things for you to think about

Some people will love you for who you used to be. Others will love you for who they wish you to be. Few will love you for who you are.

Learn to see the difference.

A good romantic partner makes everything in life easier. A bad romantic partner makes everything more difficult. Therefore, relationship skills are some of the most important skills for life.

Two things for you to ask yourself

Are the people in your life there for the right reasons? If not, why are they there?

One thing for you to try this week

Take action this week to distance yourself from someone who is not in your life for the right reasons. It could be as simple as canceling plans, ignoring a text, or filling your day with other activities.

New This Week

This Is Making Us Sick… Here’s How We Fix it – This week’s YouTube video takes a look at technology and the mental health implications it has. In the video, I present four unique theories that I have not heard discussed anywhere else. Each explains why technology has disrupted our social and psychological well-being. And I explain each while wearing those stupid fucking Apple goggles. It’s a fun one… and by fun, I mean completely dystopian. Enjoy.

5 Ugly Truths That Make Life Beautiful – So many people seem to be obsessed with feeling good all the time. They’re always looking for “hacks” to an easier, happier life. But what if the easy way actually makes it harder to have a life full of meaning and purpose? In this podcast episode, Drew and I take on the ugly truths that give life its beauty. Some of these might be a little hard to stomach at first. But if you see them through, you might be surprised at what’s on the other side. Check them out.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to make one small lifestyle change and note how much it affects everything else.

One reader has been reaping immense benefits from a small evening habit:

One simple change… Don’t go to bed until the kitchen sink is empty. I’ve had this rule in place now for a few weeks and it makes a huge difference. It means I don’t wake up to a pile of dishes as the first thing I need to tackle before I start my day.

Inevitably I used to just not do them and the pile would get bigger, starting to encroach on the rest of the kitchen. Then as the pile became more daunting I’d put it off again. Then I’d not have pans and plates for cooking so I wouldn’t eat properly and be far more likely to get takeout. I’d also skip breakfast.

The knock-on effect on my motivation and positivity from just not having to look at a pile of mess every morning can’t be overstated.

Another reader wishes they’d started earlier:

Small changes do indeed lead to lasting breakthroughs. Since the beginning of February, I have been implementing small changes daily to get myself back on track with my health.

I implemented a daily habit tracker on my calendar that includes eating whole/clean food, exercise, meditation, one hour of learning, reading and/or painting, and sleeping 7-8 hours.

First few weeks, I was checking the boxes maybe 3-4 times a week. It was a start. Today I am checking each box every single day of the week.

I have more mental clarity and energy, my inflammation is non-existent, and I am down 23 lbs. I’m 56 and I am asking myself: why did I wait so long to start?

In a time of grief, small changes made a world of difference for Allan:

Last year my wife died aged 47 after four years with an incurable cancer. My dad followed the week before Christmas. My grief and emotional state were horrific. I was a classic textbook case of what not to do in grief. My sleep was non-existent. I was living off 3-4 hours a night. It was unsustainable, particularly as I have a busy job and was a newly-minted solo dad to two wonderful teenagers who needed their dad more than ever.

It was small and simple changes I started three months ago that got my sleep back on track. Getting off my phone, setting a bedtime routine, reducing my alcohol intake, using breathing/relaxation exercises and imagining my wife in the bed next to me. All simple things, all small on their own, but they added up to a wonderful whole.

My sleep is not fully back to perfect yet, but it is almost there. The difference it has made to my life has been incredibly positive. I am back on track at work, but more importantly, I am being the dad my kids need.

I don’t think the power of small adjustments in your life should be underestimated. I now look for them in many different ways.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website — My Books — My YouTube Channel