This Is Why Change Is So Hard

200 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

One thing for you to think about

Growth is usually painful to some degree. That’s because growth requires loss—a loss of your old values, your old behaviors, your old loves, your old identity.

Therefore, growth often has a component of grief to it.

Two things for you to ask yourself

In what ways has growth been painful for you? Have you let yourself grieve the loss?

One thing for you to try this week

Honor and remember your former self, not with shame or judgment or embarrassment, but with compassion and dignity. Then let me know how it goes.

New This Week

Video: How Portugal Became the Most Anxious Country in the World

What exactly causes anxiety? And how did a small, quiet, beautiful place like Portugal become the most anxious country in the world? This summer, I went there to find out. The answer is both shocking and… strangely obvious, once you hear it. Very proud of this video. Check it out.

Podcast: How to Find Your True Path in Life (ft. Robert Greene)

What are you called to do in life? What is your life’s task? And once you figure that out, how do you pursue it? The one and only Robert Greene sat down with us in this latest podcast episode to talk about all of these, and more. We discuss finding and pursuing one’s life task, the nature and causes of “Peter Pan Syndrome,” science versus timeless wisdom, figuring out what to do in midlife after you’ve taken the wrong path, and much more. Enjoy.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to stop doing one thing that’s taking you away from the life you want, and let me know what that counterproductive thing is in your case.

We received a ton of responses but most were short and sweet, so in today’s newsletter we’re going to machine-gun through them. Hopefully you find a few that you relate to:

Mine is to eat food I shouldn’t eat then feel like shit after. It’s a diversion when I’m bothered about something. It’s avoidance.

I’ve been pursuing a career in cybersecurity the last 4-5 years with little success and I’m not even sure if I do get a job in it that I will be happy. – Bob

Reducing reading the news and scrolling through the politics subreddit on Reddit. This has been destroying the time I have to study for my next IT certification.

I am focusing on Gilmore Girls, friends, my past etc. I really want to focus on the right thing, my body and study. I will remove television from my life and meditate this week.

I deleted Tinder, Bumble and Hinge because that was most of my energy. – Brett

While others found the thing that will give them the life they want, and got started:

I started today to plan my day and my week, created a weekly goals list and a to-do list. I used to always do this and stopped. Looking back this is an excellent tool to stay on task and be intentional. – Toni

I was ruining my life. But last week I had the opportunity to share with high school kids about the benefits of reading literature and the privilege we have in this day and age to have access to knowledge through books. It is a wonderful moment. The project is taking small steps, but I am certain that this is the path my life has to take, to bring children closer to books. – MaGa

I stopped FOMO’ing, and started JOMO’ing—Joy of Missing Out.

To end, Sinja from Munich shared a nugget of wisdom she finds helpful:

This newsletter really resonated with me. It kind of hurts when you recognize that you were running after an idea of something that feels so different in reality. And letting go of this, when you’ve put so much work, energy and effort, so much hope into it is hard.

Your words reminded me of a post from Adam Grant: ‘If you’re considering a career change but worrying about taking a step backward, remember this: It’s better to lose the past two years of progress than to waste the next 20.’

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast