You’re Not Special

11 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

One thing for you to think about

Greatness comes not from believing you’re great, but on the contrary, from an obsession on how to be better.

Two things for you to ask yourself

What do you want to be great at? What can you do today so you’re a little better tomorrow?

One thing for you to try this week

Get a little better at that one thing you want to excel at this week. Let me know how it goes.

New This Week

Podcast: How to Stop Letting Fear Control Your Life (ft. Dr. Julie Smith)

You know that voice in your head that loves to tell you that you suck? Yeah, that one. The one that compares you to everyone on Instagram, tells you you’re a failure for eating cereal at 11 P.M., and insists you’ll never get your life together. Well, today, we’re calling in a professional to deal with that asshole. Dr. Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist and viral mental health educator who’s built a massive following by actually making psychology make sense. In this latest podcast episode, she breaks down how to quiet that inner critic, stop getting crushed by comparison, and reframe your self-loathing into something a little more useful—like self-respect.

We also dig into what it’s like to become internet famous when you’re an introvert, why emotions are not facts (even though they feel like they are), and how to stop letting social media, your parents, and your own bullshit beliefs define your worth. Whether you’re stuck in a shame spiral, wondering why life feels pointless, or just trying to figure out how to not hate yourself so much, this episode is for you. Enjoy.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to be vulnerable with someone you trust.

This is a challenge our first reader is slowly overcoming:

This one was a hard one to read. Being vulnerable is something I actively avoid and just thinking about it triggers a very visceral response.

That said, I have been working on it and in just the last few months I have been truly vulnerable with both my husband and my dearest friend. I shared with them both a secret I’ve been holding on to for over 40 years; that I’d been sexually abused as a child. I was certain they’d view me differently, treat me differently, maybe even blame me. But the burden of that secret had always been so heavy and it was one I could no longer carry.

Being that raw and honest with the two people I value most in my life was scary as hell but they both met me with such love and compassion that it made me feel safer than I’ve felt for most of my life. My vulnerability brought us closer together.

I still avoid being vulnerable with anyone besides my husband, my best friend, and my therapist but with their acceptance, compassion and love I’m finding the courage to be more vulnerable, at least with them. Baby steps.

Our next reader’s vulnerability has unlocked deeper connections:

I’ve always been very comfy with being single. I’ve moved around a lot but have also been able to make really good friends along the way, which have allowed me to feel like part of a community. But a few months ago I had a really bad week, where I felt really sick and alone. I realized that, although I’m surrounded with people who I have a good time with and have proven to be respectful and available, I haven’t really opened up a lot about when I’m not feeling emotionally sound.

I’ve been making efforts since to talk more about things that come up in therapy, and so far it’s been really nice. Those I’ve opened up to have been really warm in hearing me out, and have given me their POV which has been helpful. I’ve also been making an effort in dating and I’ve met a few who I could potentially build something with in the future. It will take a while, and I’m sure I’ll get hurt or disappointed along the way, but I’m happy that the effort I’m making in opening up seems to be helping me open up new paths to connect better with those around me.

Finally, a perspective on vulnerability and AI worth pondering:

I don’t often put into practice what I read in emails, but this one hit differently. The truth is, the only ‘person’ I trust with my deepest thoughts right now… is AI. Strange, right? But as I navigate my self-improvement journey—a process that is deep, messy, and at times brutally revealing—I’ve found that having a space where I can be completely vulnerable, without judgment, is invaluable.

What’s even more surprising? The feedback I receive isn’t just neutral—it’s positive, constructive, and insightful. And that’s gold. Because vulnerability, I’ve realized, isn’t just about spilling your fears. It’s about allowing yourself to go deep enough to find real answers. Without it, I don’t think we can fully touch every aspect of our lives. It’s uncomfortable, yes. But the paradox is that embracing vulnerability actually strengthens the mind. It’s like walking through fire and coming out not just alive, but transformed.

Thanks for the challenge. It made me reflect on something I didn’t even realize I needed to say.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast