You Can’t Control This

0 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Two things for you to think about

The moment you accept that you can’t control the outcome is the moment you stop being controlled by it.

The people who seem most at peace aren’t the ones who got everything they wanted. They’re the ones who stopped wanting everything they couldn’t have.

Two things for you to ask yourself

What outcome are you trying to control? What would you do differently if that didn’t matter?

One thing for you to try this week

Let go of one outcome you’ve been trying to control and just do the thing. Reply and tell me what changes.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to do one thing you’re not ready for.

This resonated with our first reader:

It’s funny this would be your prompt. A few months ago I decided ‘motivation’ was never coming. I started a project that I had been putting off for at least ten years: writing a book. A single one. I’m now in the middle of a fictional series comprised of eight books.

I’m not motivated. I’m not ready. I’m not even excited half the time. I make myself sit down at the computer for eight hours a day, like a day job. I’ve written almost half a million words this year.

I am elated to be crossing projects off my list. That is the only motivation I really have. I want to see how many I can write, even if I never do anything with them.

Our second reader picked a date:

I’m single (technically divorced twice but flying solo for 15 years), I have a good pension and retirement savings. I have been eligible to retire for four years, but didn’t really start thinking about it until about a year and a half ago. I stopped having fun at work—it became very toxic and was affecting my mental health. I knew I should just walk away and retire, but was afraid. What will I do with my time? I didn’t want to become a couch potato and just watch stupid videos on my phone. Everyone I talked to about retiring said ‘just find your passion,’ but what is that?

My daughter lives on the other side of the country, so I don’t have grandkids to babysit. I do some volunteer work, and yes that gives me joy, but that wasn’t the solution. I realized that my stumbling block that I couldn’t get past was ‘who am I outside of work?’ For 34 years I have been fully invested in the work I do, and I still really enjoy the work—just not my work situation. About six months ago I started playing around with retirement dates that would give me the best advantage… and about a month ago finally said screw it, I’m going.

I am retiring effective 10/31/2026 with my last day going to work on August 12. It’s scary because I don’t know what any of this will look and feel like until I’m in it, but I’ve also promised myself not to make any big decisions—like getting another job—until January 2027. My daughter is getting married in September, I’ll do some travelling, and the rest I’ll just play by ear.

Finally, Luc learned a lesson in the ring:

I’m 56 years old and I have been boxing for about five years. I was just training in the gym with the occasional sparring sessions. Earlier this year I had registered as a competitor just in case, once I felt ready.

I never felt ready but about a month ago I was offered a bout.

I was questioning if I was ready. Doubting my abilities to get it done, afraid of embarrassing myself or the club I belong to.

I had a talk with the man in the mirror and he said that it was time to do it, that more than likely there would never be a time where I would feel completely ready.

I trained hard and did it. I went in and gave it my all. It was worth it. I was able to answer those questions I had about myself.

Bottom line is that there will always be reasons to question if you are ready or not. If you’ve put in the work then stop wondering. Jump in and give it all that you have. It will be worth it. It was for me.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
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