You’re Not as Different as You Think

0 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Two things for you to think about

The trick isn’t to stop comparing yourself. It’s impossible.

The trick is to compare yourself for better reasons and to better people.

Inspiration is a form of social comparison.
A role model is a form of social comparison.
Being coached involves a form of social comparison.

The problem isn’t social comparison. It’s how you’ve chosen to compare.

Two things for you to ask yourself

How are you comparing yourself to others? What’s a better way you could compare yourself?

One thing for you to try this week

Pick a comparison this week that inspires you or motivates you to be better. Reply and tell me about it.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to do things that make your eight-year-old self happy, and your eighty-year-old self proud.

Our first reader will pull the needle:

OK… this is the week I am finally going to learn to knit. On my bio at work I wrote I was going to learn to knit by… 2013.

I am dyslexic and for some reason knitting has been tough for me so now I just avoid it. My girls bought me some amazing knitting supplies for my birthday this year.

My 8-year-old self was told I wasn’t smart because I couldn’t figure things out the way other people did. It’s about more than knitting.

Marlana is embracing a childhood love:

It is 10:31 PM here in Australia. I really like your emails and your enthusiasm for helping people to go within. I like how you encourage us to discover how we can free ourselves in some way and be authentic.

I realize that I read today as I did as an 8-year-old. I was an avid reader of books back then. I used to go through song books and teach myself the lyrics. I sang from my father’s piano music a lot. I also read poems in the death notices in the paper. I would read out which ones would suit my parents. Mom always got the giggles.

I still write poetry that are mostly odes to my friends. I have to publish a song I wrote in the 80s. I only have a choir voice so won’t record myself singing.

Finally, my reply to Frances:

What would make my 8-year-old self happy:

1. Dance in the living room
2. Paint a picture
3. Read my book

What would make my 80-year-old self proud:

1. Cook a nice meal for my partner
2. Unpack more of our boxes to clear the clutter from moving into our new home
3. Connect with a friend over coffee—celebrate our milestones
4. Go on an art date this weekend to get inspiration for a new collection.

I’m an artist and I have been creating patterns this year to put on a product. I’m trying to get all my ducks in a row so I can make some income from it. I need to reconnect with why I do art and what story I want to tell to reveal my vulnerabilities and my story so I can be my most authentic self. And start an art career that will last a lifetime.

What got you through self-sabotage? And what did you do to get started as an entrepreneur?

In most areas of life, you benefit from setting extremely ambitious goals. But when it comes to monetizing a creative passion or artistic pursuit, I have come to believe strongly in the power of low expectations.

My first 100 blog articles were never intended to be read by anyone other than my roommates. A couple years later, when I started writing seriously, my biggest aspiration was to just sell enough ebooks to pay my rent. It never even occurred to me that I could be a bestselling author until I had already been publishing my work online for seven years.

I think the power of low expectations works well with creative work for two reasons:

1. It removes the pressure that everything you make needs to be loved by everyone. “Failure” doesn’t really exist if the goal is to just make something and put it out there.
2. It allows you to be uncompromising in the creative process itself. It is only by experimenting dozens of times with little downside risk that allows you to discover something truly unique and great in your work that actually can sustain a career eventually.

Because the truth of any creative field is that the only real genius is reps. Picasso created something like 50,000 pieces of art in his career, yet only 25 or so are considered masterpieces. The Beatles recorded over 300 songs in their career, yet only 18 of them became massive hits. Mark Twain wrote over 100 books in his life, yet only four or five of them are considered classics.

My career has been no different. At this point, I have probably published over 2000 articles, videos and newsletters in my career. I’ve written five books, created dozens of courses and made a feature film. Yet, I’d be willing to bet that 95% of the million-plus people reading this email right now all found me via the same 3-5 works.

Creativity is a volume game. That’s the industry secret nobody tells you. Great work isn’t a flash of momentary genius. It is the result of trying 99 wrong ways to convey an idea until you haplessly stumble into the one right way.

Re-orient your definition of success. It’s not learning to create something great; it’s becoming great at creating something.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,
Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast – My App