Going Home This Christmas?

0 people had breakthroughs this week. Will the next one be you?

Two things for you to think about

If you’re afraid that establishing a boundary with someone will upset somebody, that’s the evidence that the boundary is needed in the first place.

Uncomfortable Truth: family teaches us how to love people we don’t necessarily like. (Happy holidays!)

Two things for you to ask yourself

How do you handle your family during the holiday season? How could you handle them better?

One thing for you to try this week

Establish a boundary that needs to be established over the holidays. You’ll both be better for it.

New This Week

Podcast: No Regrets, the Case Against Empathy, and Is AI Coming for Us All?

In this latest podcast episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into the messy, uncomfortable topic of regret. From the aches and grays that come with hitting a new decade to the deeper realizations about relationships, selfish mistakes, and missed opportunities, we unpack how regret shapes who we are. And there’s a twist: what if regret isn’t something to fear or avoid, but a tool for growth? I share my own stories of taking people for granted, self-destructive habits, and the lessons I’ve learned about self-forgiveness and choosing your regrets wisely.

We also tackle some fascinating questions about whether empathy is actually good for society. Or can it sometimes lead us astray? To round things off, we share our thoughts on AI and its impact on creativity and human connection. Enjoy.

Last week’s breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to stop hoping for problems to go away and instead try hoping for problems you enjoy.

Beth feels incredibly lucky for the problem she’s facing:

I have been dreading driving to Indiana and Ohio from Georgia next week to do what I call my ‘whirlwind tour of the Midwest.’ My parents are 82 and 84 and the only time I see them is when I drive up there to visit. It is grueling. One leg takes 12 hours, one leg takes nine hours minimum, and the leg between them takes four. By the time I get home, I feel beaten up and exhausted. And then I have to go back to work.

But do you know what? My parents are still alive. They had a chance to get old and I didn’t lose them young. They are both still in pretty good health.

I am trying to move back to Ohio so I can be nearer to them. But having to drive is a good problem to have when I know so many people who would happily do that if their parents were only still here.

Thank you for the reality check and the reminder to be happy for this inconvenience as long as I am lucky enough to have it.

Michelle found herself shoveling shit, and was actually grateful:

My little Hereford bull pushed through the stanchion and turned on the water spigot in the barn. This is a problem I had on Saturday that I would have been grateful for in the past.

At 47, I’m three years into my small beef farm with my boyfriend. From the time I was ten, I had decided I would attend Cornell University and become a large animal Veterinarian. Life happened, and that dream came to a screeching halt.

Fast forward 27 years, and through several jobs in the world of bureaucratic bs, and I’m finally living my life with cows. So, when we got up on a 16 degree Saturday morning to see a pond in the pasture by the barn where we house the cows overnight to keep the pipes (and the goats) from freezing, we knew there was a problem. The spigot was spewing water at full tilt (and we have great water pressure!) The cows and goats were standing in four inches of water. The outside door was frozen shut from where the running water puddled on its way out.

Brian, as foreman for a local village Department of Public Works, was called away to deal with a water main break. That means the vast majority of the 7:30-3:30 shift of shoveling fresh shit-water out of the barn before it froze solid was my problem to deal with.

In the past, my problems were along the lines of state and federal paperwork deadlines, keeping staff members happy, and managing boardroom politics. That ten-year-old who never got to become a veterinarian couldn’t have been more grateful for the problems of this past Saturday.

Our last reader is relishing their good problem:

I am a believer in doing what you can to prevent and mitigate bad problems, and being grateful when bad problems don’t happen. But a good problem that I am dealing with now, which I wish I had sooner, is having to replace a majority of my clothes after losing a bunch of weight.

I actually hate clothes shopping. I am 40 and still have clothes I’ve had since high school. But I am grateful for finally dropping at least 60 pounds, and though that comes with the need to go clothes shopping, I’m getting excited about having new clothes that fit properly. When my father-in-law asked me what I want for Christmas, I told him money for clothes, since I have to replace so much… I said ‘it’s a good problem to have.’ And I know keeping the weight off won’t be a problem (see what I did there?).

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Mark Manson

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast