I have vomited in six different countries. That may not be the most savory statistic in the world, but when you’re huddled over a drainage ditch, spewing up what for all you know could have been sauteed rat meat, these moments have a way of staying in your mind.
I remember getting a flat tire in the Indian countryside and the locals being flabbergasted and watching as I changed it myself. I remember staying up until 4AM in a hostel arguing with a drunk English kid who thought 9/11 was a hoax and didn’t happen. I remember an old Ukrainian man got me drunk on the best vodka of my life and claimed he was stationed in a Soviet U-Boat off the coast of Mississippi in the 1970s (which is probably untrue, but who knows).
I remember climbing the Great Wall of China hungover, getting ripped off on a boat trip in Bali (spoiler alert: there was no boat), sneaking my way into a five-star resort on the Dead Sea, and the night I met my wife in a Brazilian night club.
In the Fall of 2009, I sold all of my belongings, let the lease on my apartment …
Hey, sorry to interrupt…
I know you were reading that and getting all into it, but I’ve got to stop you here for a second. Because you seem to have somehow stumbled onto a subscriber-only article, and I hate to say it, but this shit ain't free.
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