Over the past ten years, I have written more than 1,500 pages of content for this website, all around the central ideas of personal values, emotional health, relationships, life purpose and self-discipline. This page is an attempt to organize those major themes into a coherent philosophy that you, the reader, can easily digest and understand.
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Establish Your Personal Values
Everything begins with our values. Our values are what we choose to make important or unimportant in our lives. While most personal growth material focuses on achieving success or finding happiness, our values determine our definitions of success and happiness. Therefore, if your values are off, then nothing else you do will matter, you will find yourself in a heaping pile of shit.
Need Help Figuring Out What to Give a Fuck About?
I’ve got a 50-page PDF guide explaining personal values and how to develop your own. Just pop in your email below to get it.
How Your Values Affect Your Life
- "Who the Fuck Am I?": The Ultimate Guide to Personal Values
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
- The Meaning of Life Is a Ham Sandwich
- Diversify Your Identity
- The Real Value of Money
- Minimalism
- The Ipanema Boardwalk (Subscribers Only)
- The Simple Joys are the Most Meaningful
- 12 Stupid Things People Care About Way Too Much
- An Open Letter to My 18-Year-Old Self (Subscribers Only)
Creating a Life Philosophy
- How to Grow the Fuck Up: A Guide to Humans
- The Uncomfortable Truth
- The Prime Belief
- This Is Water
- The One Rule for Life
- Life Is a Video Game—Here Are the Cheat Codes
- 6 Things People Should Give Fewer Fucks About
- The Four Engines that Accelerate Language and Life (Subscribers Only)
- 3 Simple Ideas That Will Make You Smarter Than Most People (Subscribers Only)
- The Liberation of Not Knowing (Subscribers Only)
Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
Once you’ve figured out your personal values, you’ll understand your emotional reactions to various experiences as well as gain better control over those reactions. Emotional intelligence is the ability to harness your emotions – both positive and negative – and use them in a useful, constructive way.
Stop Being an Emotional Idiot
Discover tips to become more self-aware, empathetic and emotionally intelligent. 49-page guide. Just drop your email below.
Self-awareness
- The Three Levels of Self-Awareness
- Your Two Minds
- Why You Can't Trust Yourself
- How We Judge Others is How We Judge Ourselves
- Being Special Isn't So Special
- 9 Subtle Lies We All Tell Ourselves
- The Staggering Bullshit of "The Secret"
- Meditation: Why You Should Do It
- You Already Have Everything You Need
- The Virtue of Doubt
- 11 Shitty Things We All Do But Never Admit
- Stop Trying to Change Yourself
- Your Next Big Life-Changing Breakthrough is Already Happening (Subscribers Only)
- The Theory of Meta-Awesomeness
Controlling your Emotions
- Fuck Your Feelings
- The Feedback Loop from Hell
- You're Okay
- Why the Best Things in Life Are All Backwards
- The Confidence Conundrum
- The Fear of Missing Out: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Instagram
- Fuck Your Perfectionism (Subscribers Only)
- 5 Skills to Help You Develop Emotional Intelligence
How to be Slightly Happier
Foster Healthy Relationships
Once you’ve become more adept at managing your emotions, you’ll naturally be able to improve your relationship. You’ll begin to sense boundary violations, and learn to act unconditionally. Psychological research regularly shows that how satisfied we are with our lives is equivalent to how satisfied with our relationships. Therefore, healthy relationships are a cornerstone of any healthy individual.
Fix Your Relationships; Love Life
We all struggle in our relationships. Learn the most important principles for improving yours in my 54-page guide to healthy relationships.
Relationship Advice
- 1,500 People Give All the Relationship Advice You'll Ever Need
- Love is Not Enough
- 6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal
- 6 Healthy Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Toxic
- A Brief History of Romantic Love and Why It Kind of Sucks
- Maybe You Don't Know What Love Is
- Attachment Theory
- Power in Vulnerability
- The Vulnerability Primer
- Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships
- How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
- 3 Unexpected Benefits of Marriage (Subscribers Only)
- 3 Terrible Reasons to Get Married (And 4 Really Good Ones)
- When to Break Up With Someone and When to Stick It Out
How to Meet the Right Person
- A No-Bullshit Guide to Meeting the Right Person
- Change Your Mind About Dating
- Why Everyone You Date Is A Psycho
- 3 Simple Explanations for Why You're Still Single
- Romance Is Like Alcohol
- The Levels of Eye Contact
- The Dismal State of Flirting in English-Speaking Cultures
- Woman Lovers and Woman Haters (Subscribers Only)
Relationship Boundaries
How to Deal with Conflict
- How to Deal With Conflict (A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Guide)
- It's Complicated: Why Relationships and Dating Can Be So Hard
- Why People Cheat in Relationships
- How to Give Advice Without Being a Condescending Asshole
- "Check, Please" - A Short Story About Perspective (Subscribers Only)
- When The Fall Comes (Subscribers Only)
How to Get Over a Breakup
Sex and Gender
- A Brief History of Male/Female Relations (Subscribers Only)
- How Disney Ruined Sex For Everyone
- Your Honest-to-God Guide to STDs
- Sex and Our Psychological Needs
- Pornography Can Ruin Your Sex Life
- The Three Loves Theory
- 7 Things Sex Education Should Have Taught Us But Didn't
- Evolution and Sexual Behavior (Subscribers Only)
Create a Life Purpose
A life purpose isn’t found, it’s created. It’s generated. And it’s largely generated out of the relationships you create around you. People who fail to create strong relationships (usually due to poor values or low emotional intelligence) end up feeling lost and purposeless in their lives.
What the Hell Are You Doing with Your Life?
Need help finding direction and purpose? Check out my 29-page guide to finding your life purpose. Just put your email below.
How to Make Important Life Decisions
- 7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose
- The Most Important Question of Your Life
- The Four Stages of Life
- 5 Principles for Making Better Life Decisions
- 10 Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s
- 10 Life Lessons I Learned from Surviving My 20s
- Why Some Dreams Should Not Be Pursued
- How To Break Hearts and Risk Losing Everything
- 3 Things School Taught You Without You Even Realizing It
Exhibit Self-Discipline
Most people start by trying to be more disciplined and productive, but discipline is the last piece of the puzzle, not the first. That’s because self-discipline is an emotional process. It’s based on feeling aligned with one’s values, relationships, and desires — not a constant battle against them.
Get Your Shit Together; Here’s How
I’ve put together a 55-page guide to developing a stronger sense of discipline and healthy habits. Check it out by putting your email below.
Improve Your Productivity
- If Self-Discipline Feels Difficult, Then You're Doing It Wrong
- The Attention Diet
- How To Be More Productive by Working Less
- How to 80/20 Your Life
- How to Read Faster and Retain More (Subscribers Only)
- On Rock Music and Writing: The Fight to Stay Creative in the Face of Success (Subscribers Only)
- 33 Things Every Aspiring Entrepreneur Should Know
Mindsets for Success
- 5 Mindsets that Create Success
- The Most Important Skill in Life (Subscribers Only)
- The "Do Something" Principle
- Why I'm Wrong About Everything (And So Are You)
- In Defense of Being Average
- 10 Reasons Why You Fail
- The Responsibility/Fault Fallacy
- #FakeFreedom
- How to Make Your Own Luck
- 3 Important Life Skills Nobody Ever Taught You
- The Paradox of Success (Subscribers Only)
- Analysis Paralysis (Subscribers Only)
- The Creative Advantages of Ignorance (Subscribers Only)
How to Form Good Habits and Break Bad Ones
Understand How the World Works
With an understanding of the principles above, I often write about various things in the world — cultures, politics, technology, and so on. I also often give book recommendations. This section of the site is to see how my philosophy can be applied to life.
3 Ideas That Could Change Your Life
To learn about three ideas that could change how you see the world, put your email in below.
Culture, Politics and Travel
- How Your Insecurity Is Bought and Sold
- How to Start a Cult and Save the World
- 5 Life Lessons From 5 Years of Traveling the World
- An Open Letter To Brazil
- The Best Parts of Travel Are the Things You Don't Remember (Subscribers Only)
- 10 Things Most Americans Don't Know About America
- The American Dream Is Killing Us
- A Dust Over India
- The Need to Always Prove Yourself in America (Subscribers Only)
- Wanderlust (Subscribers Only)
- What's the Problem with Masculinity?
- What's the Problem with Feminism?
- The Rise of Fundamentalist Belief (Subscribers Only)
- The Real Cost of Freedom (Subscribers Only)
- 22 Tips For Learning A Foreign Language
- 5 Things That Should Be Taught in Every School
- Is No One Safe from the Bullshit? (Subscribers Only)
- How We All Miss the Point on School Shootings
- How Terrorism Works
- The Dark Side of the Digital Nomad
The Effects of Technology
- In The Future, Our Attention Will Be Sold
- Smartphones Are the New Cigarettes
- I, For One, Welcome Our AI Overlords
- The Future of Self
- The World Is Fucked and I'm Pretty Sure It's the Internet's Fault
- Living In The Age of Outrage
- Is It Just Me, Or Is the World Going Crazy?
- The Paradox of Progress (Subscribers Only)
- Why Everyone on the Internet Is an Asshole
Book Recommendations
- Further Reading and References for The Subtle Art (Subscribers Only)
- 7 Books that Will Change How You See The World
- 5 Massive Books that Are Worth Your Time (Subscribers Only)
- 5 Books That Explain Why It Seems the World Is So Fucked
- The 2018 End of Year Recap -- Oh, and 63 Book Reviews (Subscribers Only)
- My 10 Favorite Books of 2017 (Subscribers Only)
- 5 Best Books for Dealing with Anxiety and Depression
- Why You Should Read Fiction (Subscribers Only)
- 6 Books that Make You Less of a Horrible Person
Miscellaneous
- The Rise And Fall of Ken Wilber
- Mark Goes to the Movies: Into the Wild (Subscribers Only)
- Mark Goes to the Movies: American Beauty (Subscribers Only)
- How I Ended Up Working with Will Smith (Subscribers Only)
- Reflections on Aging (Subscribers Only)
- The Most Important Year of My Life (Subscribers Only)
- The Bad Acid Trip (Subscribers Only)
- The 5 Levels of Friendship (Subscribers Only)
- 10 Cool Things About the Brain and What It Means For You (Subscribers Only)
- 20 Paradoxes That Are True
- Why I Have a Potty Mouth
- The Wisdom of Surfing (Subscribers Only)
- 5 Life Lessons I Learned From Playing Guitar
- 5 Problems with the Self-Help Industry
- The Zen Dilemma